Until We Bleed
by Le Creationist
Summary: A CJ/Jed fic. The unthinkable happens shortly after CJ becomes Chief of Staff. Full summary inside
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Until We Bleed

**Author's Note:** I have been working on this story for a very long time. It is one of the most intense action/drama fics I have ever written and I hope my plot is coherent. This begins during episode 6.14 "The Wakeup Call" and turns EXTREMELY AU! There is violence and language, so if this is not your thing, turn back now.

A lot of dialogue is taken from "The Wakeup Call" for this chapter.

This fic is also a crossover with the British spy series entitled Spooks ("MI-5" in the United States). The characters Joanna Portman and Harry Pearce are of that series. I am a HUGE fan of both The West Wing and Spooks and I've always wanted to work them into one fic. The title of this fic is also the title of Lykke Li's haunting song "Until We Bleed."

**Summary: A misinterpreted moment in the Oval leads to speculation that CJ Cregg and President Jed Bartlet are in a romantic relationship. The First Couple is estranged, the President must face his worsening MS, and CJ is thrown into a job she might not be fully prepared for. What happens when the unthinkable occurs?**

Pairing: angsty CJ/Jed, Slight Kate/Leo, and slight Jed/Abbey.

Disclaimer: I don't pretend to own any characters from The West Wing or Spooks. These shows are the amazing creations of Aaron Sorkin and David Wolstencroft respectively. I'm just an overly sappy fan.

* * *

**"_The world breaks everyone. And afterwards, many are strong at the broken places. Those that will not break, it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially." _–Ernest Hemingway, _A Farewell to Arms_**

The strains of opera filled the Oval, the words lost on CJ but the mournful quality of the singer's voice struck her. She walked in to find the President gazing pensively into space behind his desk.

"Sir?"

"Good evening." Jed turned to face his chief of staff.

"I thought you were heading back to the Residence?"

"I thought about it. And then I thought I would sit here and enjoy the art for a while."

"Do you want me to get Curtis?"

"No, I'm a bachelor tonight. Abbey's with Ellie and what's-his-name, the new boyfriend," He got up and moved over to turn down the volume and then approached the chair beside her for his jacket. He reached for it but noticed as she grabbed the collar and wordlessly assisted him in putting it on.

He was in a surprisingly playful mood, what with the suggestions of nabbing Toby to spend a night on the town. She laughingly asked if they were gonna don sailor caps and chase after Miss Turnstile. He smirked at her when she insisted she had to get him to bed because her cheeks flushed and he knew exactly what she was thinking.

"Besides, I understand you two have a big date tomorrow."

"I actually convinced her to let me out of the house for Valentine's Day." He didn't look at her as he told her, she felt it strange that he should avoid her eyes while telling her of his intention to take his wife out for Valentine's.

She knew things had been icy between the First Couple. Not just from gossip but from firsthand experience. Nothing had been the same since Zoey's kidnapping and then Abbey's subsequent disappearance from the White House. Yes perhaps the First Lady had eventually returned, but the damage was done. Amy had told CJ that the President emphatically said the first Lady had to be here to want things. CJ could only imagine the magnitude of the President's wrath for him to say such a thing.

Of course, the gossip rags running convoluted stories about late nights spent together in the Oval when Abbey was away from Washington didn't help any. At home one night, CJ was flipping channels when she came across the illustrious program E! news. Somehow, a paparazzo snapped astonishingly clear photos through the windows of the Oval of her and the President.

He had been apologizing for blowing up at her, he'd walked up to her and taken her hand to reassure her that she was doing a good job as his chief. He raised the back of her hand and kissed it briefly in a moment of weakness. It was a gesture that stirred emotions she thought she'd succeeded in compartmentalizing. She knew she'd taken another step toward him, was even thinking of kissing his lips but they were interrupted by a knock at the door. She rushed back to her office and collapsed into her chair right after, frightened by the close call.

Obviously, she hadn't made a clean escape. The picture was on display on E! News, for God's sake.

They said all sorts of things, how an inside source in the White House revealed that CJ often visited the residence at early hours when the First Lady was traveling. The newscaster's implication was about as subtle as a train thundering through a china shop. The line of reasoning was, 'He lied about MS, who's to say he's not lying about his relationship with his Chief of Staff too?'

Shaking her thoughts, CJ continued the dialogue between them.

"You're taking her to the opera?"

"Verdi's Otello. Romantic huh?"

"Isn't that the one where the guy kills his wife?"

He paused then glanced at her over the rim of his glasses.

"It's in Italian, I'm hoping she won't notice."

Grinning, she asked, "Are you sure you don't want me to call Curtis?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Night CJ."

"Night, sir. Get some rest."

They were both careful to keep a distance even though the curtains were permanently kept closed.

She returned to her office, pushed back the President's wakeup call, and almost cursed when she saw Toby walk in and introduce Professor Lawrence Lessig. Her anger was justified when the President walked in at that moment to ask her for a copy of a mass layoff report he wanted to read in the Residence. Inevitably, he was also introduced to the Professor, with whom he struck up a jolly intellectual discourse regarding the trends in constitutional law.

"I'm sorry, excuse me, but the President has to get to the Residence…"

"I'm sure we could spare five minutes! Come on in—"

Aghast, she watched as Jed Bartlet ushered the Professor into the Oval knowing full well that five minutes would undoubtedly become a good two hours.

She shot Toby a meaningful glare at his horrible timing and resolutely followed the three of them into the office despite the lateness of the hour. Abbey would kill her if she found out CJ had caved to the President's insistence.

* * *

Just after the President bid the Professor good night at eleven thirty, CJ went home in a zombie-like state. She'd have to get up in a few hours so when she got home, she hadn't bothered peeling off her clothes. CJ flopped onto the bed and fell into a restless sleep.

In what felt like a span of five minutes, three hours had gone by and CJ was jolted from oblivion by the ringing of her house phone. She picked up and answered, noting that it was 3:45 am and that she would need a serious amount of caffeine to make it through whatever this was.

"Tell me you're calling about some guy you met in a bar."

It was Commander Kate Harper, Deputy National Security Adviser and most recent addition to the West Wing.

"A United Britannia flight from London to New Delhi went off radar in the Caspian Sea an hour ago."

"A commercial plane?"

"About a hundred passengers, mostly British and French."

CJ felt for the side of her neck suddenly, as if an insect just bit her. She frowned but refocused on Kate's voice.

"How many—"

"Six Americans."

"And we think it was a crash?"

"It's too early to tell. The plane was off course and drifting into Iranian airspace."

"Okay, I'll be right in."

CJ sat up slowly, feeling her head spin as the world went in and out of focus. She didn't think she'd ever felt this tired before. Her bones were like lead when she tried to stand.

"What the hell?" Her knees buckled violently and she crashed to the floor face first, unable to move.

Panic took its hold and bile rose in her throat. The phone was an inch away from her hand, lying on the hard wood floor beside her. CJ saw a pair of black boots approach her out of the corner of her eye but she was unable to move her head to fully look up. She tried to control her breathing, prevent herself from hyperventilating in fear.

She still struggled to reach for the phone, her fingers shaking but her arm completely unresponsive. One of the boots came crashing down hard on her hand, a cruel and unnecessary gesture but one that set the tone for the days to come.

To be continued.


	2. Chapter 2

**Previously:** One of the boots came crashing down hard on her hand, a cruel and unnecessary gesture but one that set the tone for the days to come.

* * *

Kate Harper was pacing in the Roosevelt Room. It was now five in the morning, an hour and fifteen minutes since she'd spoken to CJ about the missing British plane. An hour and fifteen and still there was no CJ Cregg to be seen in the West Wing.

Nancy McNally, Miles Hutchinson, the CIA director, the Chairman of the JCS, everyone who was anyone was already in the Sit. Room except the President himself who was presumably still asleep.

Kate called CJ's cell five times, yes maybe the calls were a little excessive but the more time passed the more Kate's worry grew. This thing with the United Britannia plane could escalate fast if it really was shot down by the Iranians like they suspected. Maureen Grady had called once already but there was no Chief of Staff to take the call, and the President was unavailable. This couldn't happen again but Kate wasn't sure she wanted to be the one to inform the President of the goings on at such an ungodly time.

Once more, she tried CJ's cell and on the ninth ring, she hung up. Kate's last resort was placing a call to either of the agents assigned to CJ's security detail and when no one answered any of her calls, she resigned herself to going to the Residence to wake her Commander in Chief.

"You can't get a hold of her? What do you mean you can get a hold of her?" Jed roared as soon as he could comprehend what the young Commander was saying.

He pulled on his robe over his pajamas and ran a hand over his eyes, glancing at the clock on his bedside table that read 5:15 am.

"Sir, I called CJ at 3:45, it shouldn't have taken her this long to get here. I've called her cell phone seven times since and she hasn't responded at all. Her agents haven't picked up either."

"Any chance she could be sleeping? An occupation I myself was quite enjoying until it was interrupted."

Kate looked unsure, skittish. He'd never have thought she'd be one to fidget under sarcasm when she'd faced automatic weapons fire in hostile zones in the third world.

"Something is wrong, sir. I don't know what, but this doesn't feel right."

* * *

Leo stood in the Oval, aware that as of 7:00 am that morning, CJ Cregg was officially a missing person. He was waiting for the President to arrive. Kate went to wake him up but it had been nearly half an hour. Leo himself was soundly asleep in his hotel room when his nurse told him he had an urgent phone call from the White House operator.

He came in right away, CJ's disappearance at the forefront of his mind. He spoke to Ron Butterfield about getting in touch with her detail and he had just left the White House to go to CJ's place.

"What the hell is going on?"

Ah, Jed had made his presence known. He walked briskly toward Leo and the two of them sat in the armchairs in front of the Resolute desk.

"CJ is MIA. Ron's on his way over with some men to investigate."

"What's this I hear with Iran and Britain possibly going to war while I was sleeping?"

"Yeah, a British commercial airplane was shot down mistakenly by the Iranian air force. They shot down a commercial plane carrying a hundred French and English civilians because they thought it was a US spy plane. Prime Minister Grady is chomping at the bit even though Nancy took the call because no one else was available."

Jed looked murderous.

"Why did no one wake me when this all went down?"

"If you'd been listening earlier, it's because the woman in charge of getting your ass out of bed every morning is currently missing in action."

There was a knock on the door and Jed yelled "Come in!"

It was Margaret, looking like a deer caught in headlights. She came in but didn't speak immediately. Leo prompted her, relying on her nearly Pavlovian response to the authority he exuded.

"Ron called and said that there was no sign of a struggle or break in at the house…But they talked to her neighbor, Mrs. Morrison. An elderly lady living alone with cats probably…"

When Margaret trailed off, Leo snapped, "What else?"

"She said she heard noises from outside the corridor of the apartment building. She looked out the peephole of her front door and saw some men dragging CJ out. She was hanging from their arms like a rag doll."

Leo and the President sat in horror struck silence.

"They must have drugged her." Leo said, looking at his hands.

"Ron will know more later—"

"Thank you, Margaret."

That was a clear dismissal from the President so the secretary turned around and headed back to her desk to await more information.

"Leo, tell me this isn't happening."

"Sir—"

"Tell me she did NOT just come in here and tell me that CJ has been taken by God knows who!"

"Let Ron do his thing—"

"God damn it! God DAMN IT! How can this be happening _again?"_ "

Leo leaned forward intently, his eyes blazing.

"Mr. President! Right now, they are doing everything they can to locate CJ! They've probably shut all of DC down! Right now, you have to focus on this England-Iran crisis. You have to do your job, sir."

Jed nodded, knowing that he had responsibilities but he felt as he had when he heard of Zoey's disappearance. Maybe even worse this time, because CJ was his right hand and a close friend. She had recently become privy to a lot more top secret intel. That obviously made her a prime target for attack especially when one considered how she took pleasure in shaking her security detail.

"Sir. Right now you need to get to the Situation Room. I bet they know a lot more in there than we ever will sitting here and yelling at each other."

Jed was out the door first, Leo at his heels.

* * *

**Teaser: **"Don't give them anything. Because the moment they get what they want from you, they will sell you to the next person who wants a piece and those people tend to be worse.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** Violence/language warnings for this chapter. Also, reviews are greatly, GREATLY appreciated. Tell me what you think, criticism is welcomed. Please read and review, it makes me update faster, hehe. :)

* * *

She woke up gasping, her throat burning. She had no idea how much time had passed since she was taken. She had fought down the initial panic but now it was becoming more and more difficult to tame the fear that was clawing at her insides. Her hands and feet were bound tightly, the cords chafing her skin. Her captors never spoke so she had not the slightest clue as to their identities.

Now she was sitting alone in a room that might have passed for a broom closet except it had a tiny window that allowed some of the daylight in. She looked at it mournfully, wondering what efforts were being made to find her.

As time passed, her resentment grew. She envisioned what she would have been doing instead of laying on the ground in some god forsaken cell. How could she not have known that someone had broken into her house? She felt sick as she realized they probably killed both of the agents assigned to her detail. They were nowhere to be found when she arrived home but she didn't think anything of it because she was so tired.

The daylight disappeared before she knew it.

The door to her makeshift cell was thrown open, she had barely any time to react before a swift kick to her ribs was delivered with brutal concision. She curled into a ball instinctively, pain shooting through her torso as she fought to breathe.

She was still dry retching when they dragged her out of the cell so that there was enough space for two of the men to haul her up by her armpits and hold her as the third one punched her again in the ribs and then slapped her across the face with the back of his hand. She could barely make a sound, her vision fuzzy and her cheek stinging from the groove that the man's ring left on her cheek.

"What do you _want?"_ When CJ could finally speak, her inquiry came out as a plaintive wail.

She wasn't given a reply. The men just walked out and locked her up again.

She started sobbing when she was alone. She was just a civil servant. She wasn't trained to withstand torture. But she knew things. She knew things that these people would undoubtedly want to know at some time and she better be damn well ready to keep her mouth shut no matter what they did to her.

"Hey!"

CJ quieted down when she heard something. She thought she was going crazy but someone really was trying to get her attention. She looked around for the source of the urgent whisper. There was a slight crack in the wall and she dragged herself over to it.

"Is someone there?"

"Keep your voice down or they'll hear us!"

"Who are you?"

When the voice didn't respond, CJ thought that the beating she'd received was making her hear things but then the voice spoke once more.

"My name is Jo. I'm an MI-5 officer, British security services. I'm being held here too."

CJ didn't know whether to immediately trust this person or not. She could only see the girl's eyes through the crack. They were bloodshot but her irises were an unnerving shade of blue. Partly, she was just relieved that she wasn't the only prisoner, that there was someone else who was suffering just as she was.

"I've been here about three days," The girl named Jo said, "They've hit me but nothing too bad as of yet."

"Wait, you're MI-5? Where are we?" CJ asked, utterly confused.

"We're in London. How long have you been here?"

CJ hesitated because she didn't know how to answer.

"It's okay. I know you haven't been here very long. I think they brought you in while they were having a go at me, so you can't have been here for more than a couple hours."

"I was in my house…I was in Washington DC like five minutes ago. How in the HELL am I in London right now?" CJ was getting hysterical.

"It's only an eight hour flight. Do you remember what time it was when they took you?"

"Um…I think it was—It was 3ish. In the morning. Jesus Christ, I can't believe this is happening."

"They must have injected you with a strong neurotoxin, it temporarily and completely paralyzes you and then causes you to black out. That's their MO." Jo whispered.

CJ took a few moments to gather her thoughts.

"What did they do to you?"

The other woman didn't answer at first.

"These men are the grunt men for an organization that specializes in the capture of intelligence officers, government officials, basically anyone who knows any information that could possibly be of use to their patrons. Usually terrorists."

"You sound pretty calm." CJ whispered, pondering the girl's age.

"I had a contact within the group. I thought I turned him but apparently I was wrong. He sold me out during a routine meeting and now I'm here."

"That must piss you off."

"My people should be coming soon. They are very good at what they do. Just…"

"Yeah?"

CJ looked through the crack again, finding those wide blue eyes.

"Just don't give them anything. They're gonna get pretty vicious and you've got to prepare yourself."

"Tell me."

"I really don't think I should."

Jo went quiet again because at that precise second, a piercing scream filled the air and resonated through their cells. CJ trembled at the awful noise, images flashing through her mind.

"This is a scare tactic, don't let it get to you. It's a recording—they're doing it to frighten you!"

"They're doing a damn good job!"

"This means they'll come for you in a few minutes, when they think you're ripe for questioning. It's how they condition you without even touching you."

CJ found herself wishing she had made more of an effort to grab the phone before they knocked her out. She wished she were in her office at the White House, safe behind the bureaucracy of her job. She wished she could see Jed's face again but somehow she felt the memory of him was fading, drowned out by the all consuming terror that pulsed through her veins.

"No, listen, you can't break now. Then they'll have won. They'll scoop you up and snap you in half like a stale biscuit if you keep that up."

"I'm scared, Jo!"

Jo abated, genuinely able to see that the older woman had never faced anything like this before. She felt a surge of compassion despite the bleakness of both their situations.

"I have no way to prepare you for what is coming other than to just tell you point blank what to expect. But I don't want you to go in there without any semblance of composure. So unless you're absolutely sure you want to know, I'll keep my mouth shut."

CJ took a few breaths, cringing because of her ribs, but gave her assent.

"They might rape you. I haven't been, but I know they have some other prisoners who weren't as lucky as me. When they questioned me earlier, one of them strangled me until I passed out. The next thing I know, they used some sort of defibrillator to force me back into consciousness. It sounds simple but it feels terrible. I think they may have shot me with adrenaline to kick start my system."

"Oh God," CJ groaned.

"Don't give them anything. Because the moment they get what they want from you, they will sell you to the next person who wants a piece and those people tend to be worse."

"Do you even know who I am?"

Jo looked through the cracked wall and thought about it.

"You're American. You sound familiar."

"I work at the White House."

"Oh shit." Murmured the younger woman.

And then time stopped when they heard another door open, the silence most unnerving. Footsteps and then the door to CJ's cell opened. It was just one man this time, his face devoid of the mask.

CJ looked up at him, shaking, but with defiant eyes.

"Hello, Miss Cregg."

* * *

**Teaser:** "Prevent Britain and Iran from going to war, and get CJ Cregg back without surrendering the uranium. These are our top two priorities. As of right now, this is your life. Go."


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** I want to thank lcf328, kleinjuh, and cjjosh4ever for taking the time to review. I hope you're enjoying the fic so far. Please keep the reviews coming! :)

* * *

Two hours was apparently enough time for Director George Rollie from CIA to obtain CCTV footage of the street in front of CJ's apartment building at 3:52 am. They all watched the men on the screen pile someone, undeniably CJ due to the length of the body, into the back of a van and drive off.

Rollie said his analysts deciphered the license plate number and had tracked the van through the LoJack it had installed. The van was abandoned at National Airport, where seven planes had taken off between 4:00 and 7:00 am. The shutdown of all DC airports had been ordered at around 6:45.

"Do we have ANY idea of how to find her? She could be anywhere by now!" Jed bellowed at the Joint Chiefs and Rollie without the usual deference that the President ought to treat them with.

Rollie looked irritated at the President's tone.

"Of those seven planes, three of them were private flights. The first was a cargo plane heading to Stockholm, the second belonged to electricity giant Li Ka-shing who was returning to Hong Kong, and the third belonged to a man named Jerry Townley who was on his way to London. The police and secret service are coordinating a search of the city. My people are going through some inquiries and I'll brief you, Mr. President as soon as I know more."

Jed still looked thunderous but he turned to Nancy who was sitting a couple chairs down. CJ's chair to his left was very noticeably empty.

"Mr. President, you should know that NSC analysts have picked up a lot of recent chatter about a group that's wreaking havoc in the European intelligence community called the Red Backs. They are torturers for hire, they kidnap and then extract information for a price. Their clientele have ranged from arms dealers to radical terrorists. It is a very real possibility that CJ is their latest target."

"Red Backs? What kind of a name is that?" Leo scoffed.

"Red Backs are a species of spiders that are indigenous to Australia." Kate added thoughtfully, for she'd wondered the same thing when she first heard the name.

"I knew I shouldn't have cancelled the Discovery Channel."

Jed glared at Leo and effectively silenced him.

The President had reappeared instead of distraught Jed Bartlet and addressed Dr. McNally.

"You said this was a European group."

Nancy looked grave as she replied.

"It's true that they're based in Europe but if they were paid well enough, it's not unreasonable to think they'd hop the pond for a job."

The President glanced down at the files presented to him, reading the report that Nancy just quoted at him.

"If it's any consolation, Mr. President, they won't kill her immediately. They will want to siphon as much as they can from her before they sell her off to the highest bidder." A young lieutenant commander offered.

"If you so much as say something like that to me again, I swear I'll tear you limb from limb with my own bare hands," Jed growled. "You will find her before that occurs, so help me God, you'll do it!"

There was a tense moment where no one dared to breathe. Finally, Jed spoke again.

"It's 8:10 right now. I want to be updated with new information, USEFUL information from the second you receive any. "

They all stood as the President stood and left the room.

Kate looked at Rollie, knowing that his pride was dented but she didn't have the time or inclination to cater to his ego.

"If it is the Red Backs, you should know that we only have a time frame of maybe a few days to find CJ. I've heard of these people before, they tortured and killed a friend of mine in Pakistan. They work fast and effectively. We have to beat them."

"What about the Iran-Britain thing? Grady is frothing at the mouth and the Iranians are probably guilty of the murder of hundreds of innocent civilians. She's gonna want to draw up a plan of military action in retaliation." Nancy added.

"Why do we suspect that it's this one specific group? There must be hundreds of these types of organizations. I want to know how we pinpointed it so fast." Leo barked.

Kate spoke up, "I didn't say it before, but the CIA received this video footage in an encrypted email from an untraceable address. It's not for the faint of heart."

She nodded at the analyst seated at the end of the table who started the recording. It appeared on the enormous screen so that everyone could see and hear what was happening.

Nothing could have prepared Leo for this, he was immensely grateful that Kate had the foresight to wait until the President left the Situation Room to reveal this piece of news. In that instant, Leo knew why she avoided mentioning this email. Kate looked equally disturbed, although this was her second time watching it. Everyone else watched in stunned disbelief.

"Are you Claudia Jean Cregg?" The person filming the video must have been speaking.

When CJ didn't respond, one of the men holding her up brandished a cattle prod and brought it down on the back of her leg. She gasped at the impact and her face contorted with pain. Leo saw the deep cut across her cheek and noticed her right eye was swelling up.

"Fuck you!" She cried out when she regained her breath.

Suddenly one of the men let go of her, causing her to lose her balance. The man who let go went off camera and then returned with a cord in his hands. Leo's hands clenched and formed fists, his knuckles going white as he realized what was going to happen.

The other man still restraining CJ took the cord and wrapped it around her neck. He began tugging with superhuman force, asphyxiating her gradually. Her legs flailed and she batted at their hands but to no avail. Thirty seconds later, she was unconscious. She was lowered to the ground and Leo felt like the floor had fallen out from beneath him.

"Kate, is she—"

"Wait. Watch." She whispered, tears in her eyes.

He turned back to the screen and did as he was told. The taller of the two captors went off camera again and this time returned with a ludicrously thick syringe, and a defibrillator.

"What the hell?" Leo shouted.

Quickly, the man uncapped the syringe and plunged it into CJ's sternum, penetrating the tissue presumably straight into her heart. Next, they turned on the defibrillator and it took three times before she was shocked back into consciousness. She was screaming and crying but they held her down.

"It was adrenaline they injected her with. It must have been, look at how she's breathing. This is the style of torture this group is notorious for." Rollie stated ominously.

The camera turned away and faced the man who was filming, his face covered just as his partners were.

"My employers would like to know where the weapons grade uranium was taken from Tblisi, Georgia. We are aware that she knows but in the event she does not break, we would like to secure a bargaining position with the United States government. You give us the uranium, and you'll get her back. In the meantime, there is no guarantee that what you just saw will not be repeated. Further details of the exchange will be worked out when you can guarantee the uranium to my employers. You have thirty six hours."

The camera went dead and everyone was lost for words.

"Prevent Britain and Iran from going to war, and get CJ Cregg back without surrendering the uranium. These are our top two priorities. As of right now, this is your life. Go." Leo said quietly from the doorway.

They all dispersed without another word.

* * *

**Teaser: **

"Are you Claudia Jean Cregg?"

"No. I'm Minnie Mouse."


	5. Chapter 5

The rain we're getting here in LA is amazing, so I've been holed up at home writing and most likely will be for the rest of the week. I've lost count of the times I've gone over each chapter, most of this story has been written already, I'm just fixing things here and there. I have a tendency to get twisted and tangled in my own plots so bear with me if there's a glaring error somewhere, haha. I will find it and fix it. Anyway, here is the next part of the fic.

Please review, I'd love to hear your thoughts. :)

* * *

CJ was jolted back from the dead and Jo was right, it felt like she was being fed through a meat grinder. She couldn't see anything. Her vision was shot. Her throat was bruised from being choked. She felt the wound in her sternum where they'd shot her with adrenaline before using the defibrillator.

Finally, the man asked her a question.

"Are you Claudia Jean Cregg?"

She knew they were testing her emotional state. They already knew her name, they wanted to see if she'd start spouting information to just to appease them right from the get go. She was breathing hard when two other men dragged her up to stand on extremely shaky legs.

"No. I'm Minnie Mouse."

She was hit in the back of the knee with a cattle prod, if they hadn't been holding her, she definitely would have fallen down.

"Do you work for the President of the United States of America?"

She glared at her captor.

"I work for your momma, you son of a bitch!"

She was hit again and she screeched sharply, her own voice sounding foreign to her.

"My employer would like to know the coordinates of the uranium your country took from Georgia. You will give us the coordinates."

She summoned enough strength to look up at her torturer and spat in his face. She smiled even as she was slapped in the face so hard that she saw stars. She braced herself for more but the men were called off.

"Enough!" The man in charge said. "She needs time to recover. Take her back."

CJ was dragged back to the cell and dumped in a heap on the floor. They locked her up and she curled into a ball again, grateful that at least they removed the bonds on her wrists and ankles.

She'd fallen into a light sleep when she heard Jo's voice.

"Hey…"

It took all of CJ's willpower to heave herself up to look through the crack in the wall.

"I didn't break, Jo. I thought I would but I didn't."

"Good, that's really good. Hang in there. I know it feels like shit the first time they do it. They can't do it more than three times though, or the electricity from the defibrillator will mess up your heart's natural rhythm."

"Christ, _once_ is enough to last a lifetime."

"I know. But once they've exhausted that interrogation method, they'll use water torture."

"Oh that makes me feel so much better." CJ wheezed.

"Sorry. I'm just used to reading about this stuff from the other side of things."

CJ nodded but she knew Jo probably couldn't see it. Instead she settled for asking a question.

"How long have you been in intelligence?"

"A few years. I was recruited by a man who's a good friend now. I was actually a journalist before. I met him while I was chasing a story, one thing led to another and—"

"Really? That's so funny because I…"

"What?"

"I worked closely with a lot of journalists before too. Jo, my name is CJ. I was the Bartlet administration's Press Secretary."

Jo's eyes brightened in obvious recognition as all of the links clicked.

"You're not anymore?"

"No. I just assumed the position of Chief of Staff."

"That's why these bastards want you." Jo gasped.

"Yeah."

The two women sat quietly for a bit. CJ stretched her legs when her muscles began to cramp from the cattle prod.

"There's a man…back home." CJ's voice was raspy but Jo could hear the distinct warmth in it. "I love him. And I know I might never see him again."

A few more tears fell down the older woman's cheeks.

"He's been unhappy recently. He's been cranky with me for mothering him, because he's sick and his wife is not around for him. But through it all, I just wish I could see him right now, I wish he was here to hold me." CJ was weeping, her body racked with defeat.

"Stop it. We'll find a way out. I promise you."

"It's been four days for you, Jo. How can you still hope?"

"Because I have faith. I have faith that my side will find me and bring me home. You should too."

* * *

Kate was almost running to the Oval by 10:00 am.

"Mr. President!" She said by way of greeting, breathless as she crossed the threshold of the office.

"I got in touch with some people I know at MI-5, their counterterrorism department has firsthand experience with the Red Backs."

Jed was standing by the window, staring at Kate as she talked.

"Harry Pearce is their section head and he agreed to send everything they have on these people including suspected but unverified locations in Southern England. He said they've recently lost two officers to these people, one confirmed dead and the other still held captive. They're also searching for someone. I asked if we could coordinate a search, so I gave him CJ's name. Also, Interpol's issued an alert and they're gonna search for her too."

"This is the best news we've gotten all morning." He muttered, his brow furrowed.

"Well, our Ambassador in Grosvenor Square as well as the Foreign Office are gonna be pretty pissed that we skipped the normal diplomatic channels but frankly we don't have time to screw around with them."

The president nodded and said, "Thank you, Kate."

"I'll be around, sir." Kate backed away and high tailed it out of there.

Jed returned to looking out the window when Debbie came in saying that he had a phone call.

"Madam Prime Minister! It seems we have two issues at hand today…"

* * *

It might have still been the first day. She couldn't tell anymore. The indeterminate amount of time that she spent lying on the floor in her cell seemed to stretch on forever in her memory until what was once so vivid and clear was muddled and distant. She remembered leaving a stack of papers from an Appropriations subcommittee on her desk…what was it—the numbers regarding all of the earmarked funds for Labor, Health, Human Services and education. That was what it was.

She was alone now. Earlier while she was resting her eyes, she scrambled when she heard footsteps and the clanging of a door being unlocked. She thought it was her own so she braced herself for another beating but it was actually Jo's. CJ remained huddled in the corner of the cell, her knees hugged to her chest as she listened to Jo's panicked breathing.

"Miss Portman, I'd like a word with you," He said, as if she had a choice in the matter.

CJ clenched her fists, ignoring the shooting pain that resulted from her broken fingers on her left hand.

Jo said nothing as they walked her out of the cell into the adjoining room CJ herself had visited only once herself.

The moments that followed were horrifying. CJ, against her will, could not help but strain to hear what was going on. She didn't want to ask Jo what she knew that these people would want, she knew better. Still, she found herself tensed in anticipation for gunshots, screams, anything.

There was hardly any noise. CJ barely breathed and still there was not a single sound.

An eternity seemed to pass before CJ picked up on a muffled sort of keening from the other room. She thought that they were gagging her. CJ tried not to think, she tried not to imagine herself in Jo's place, to subject herself to the torment her own fevered mind was capable of dreaming up.

She squeezed her eyes shut, imagining that she was back in Dayton with Marco Arlens. How stupid to maintain formality in one's head. He was just Marco, a figure from her youth. He was friendly, funny, polite, and most importantly safe. She supposed that was why she went to bed with him, though that particular memory was more bitter than sweet.

Danny Concannon. Ruthlessly persistent, bear of a man who didn't care that 'no' meant 'no', who pursued her anyway.

She stopped herself there before she could roll out the full list of men who'd stolen a little bit of her to do with what they pleased. She belonged to her career, the thing only one man could take away from her, who almost let her walk when she wanted to resign.

Her mind took her back to the barn in Manchester where she raised her voice to the President just for the satisfaction of being able to see his face when she did. He was visibly taken aback by it. She remembered wanting to shove aside his notes on that haphazardly put together music stand and make him see how hurt she was that she was the last to learn about his MS.

She supposed the hurt eventually went away once the re-election campaign really kicked off. But she wondered if she had walked out like she intended to, where she'd be today. Certainly not here, that was for sure.

Jo was returned soon after. CJ cringed when she heard the impact of Jo's body hitting the floor.

Her door was being unlocked. She watched the door handle turn and the short one entered.

"Your turn."

She kept her limbs folded into herself even as the guy dragged her. She weighed almost nothing to him in spite of her height.

The other room was empty of any furniture except an old steel chair in the center of the floor, so CJ wondered how Jo managed to keep quiet regardless of the acoustics.

She was sat down on the chair and bound with her hands behind her back and her ankles tied to the legs of the chair.

The boss, as she had come to think of him, was mounting a camera on a tripod about six feet in front of her. The two other men stepped to the side, awaiting instruction.

"Miss Cregg, I need to show that you're alive and well. You'll look into the camera at my signal but you will not speak." His tone brooked no argument. "Understood?"

She looked at him and nodded once, sharply.

He hit the record button and walked around so that he was in the shot. His face was covered by a black ski mask.

"As you can see, Miss Cregg is still with us. She has not surrendered any knowledge that we seek to acquire, but we are confident that you have been working out a way to give us what we want. It has been fifteen hours. Twenty one more and she's gone."

The man stepped back behind the camera and waited thirty seconds before shutting it off. He removed the camera and handed it to the others, telling them to send the video. They scurried off to complete their task as the boss approached CJ deliberately. He pulled off the mask and let it drop to the floor beside him. CJ got her first real look at her oppressor's face, his cold, deep set eyes sending inadvertent chills down her spine.

"This could be over now if you give me the coordinates."

"You're gonna sell me off, the moment I do. So no, I don't think so."

He punched her, toppling her over with the chair and splitting her lip. He set her upright again, watching her groan in pain.

"We have all day. Your obstinacy can only carry you so far. I know the limits the human body can be driven to. Believe me, your expiration date is well on its way."

He raised his fist once more when she shouted, "OKAY! I'll tell you."

He backed off and crossed his arms.

"Eighty two point seven degrees north, a hundred fourteen point…four degrees west! That's where we buried the uranium!" She was trembling, blood dripping down her chin.

The man appraised her carefully and left the room, presumably to verify her information. She hoped her gamble bought her more time.

* * *

**Teaser: **"Is this the same footage that you're trying to keep me from watching? Don't tell me it is, because now that it's on national news, I'd like to see you try to keep me from watching the damn thing myself!"


	6. Chapter 6

Toby was sitting in his office when Leo walked in and tentatively knocked on the doorframe. Toby looked up in surprise.

"Hey, come in."

"What are you working on?"

"Belarusian constitutional law. I was throwing around some ideas with Professor Lawrence Lessig, we're gonna be working with a delegation in the Roosevelt Room later." Toby continued jotting words down, referring back to the hefty book he'd been rifling through.

Leo sighed, not looking forward to notifying yet another person about the catastrophic events of the morning.

"I understand you briefed the press on the United Britannia flight."

"Yeah, it hit the wires this morning and it was pretty much all anyone wanted to talk about. I'm supposed to go into the Oval soon for updates from the President. Grady is having a seizure from her podium, the Ayatollah is out for blood…Has there ever been a finer day for foreign diplomacy?" Toby joked lightly as he scanned some files on his desk.

"Toby."

He stopped what he was doing to glance at Leo. Toby suddenly noticed how pale his friend was and grew worried that he was overdoing it.

" Leo, these things have a way of untangling themselves. You want a glass of water?"

"You're gonna get blindsided in your 11 o'clock briefing by a story about a kidnapping."

"What? Who?"

"CJ's been kidnapped for ransom. She's presumably on a plane somewhere to Europe or maybe the Middle East."

Toby looked like a fish out of water. He gaped in stunned silence.

"Why am I just finding out about this now?"

"Kate and I wanted to keep it on the down low, because this is gonna explode on all the major news networks once it gets out. I want you to be ready when the press asks you about it."

"When was she—how was she—"

"Early this morning just after Kate asked her to come in for the United Britannia thing. They caught her offguard in her house."

"What's being done?"

"Interpol and MI-5 in the UK, the CIA, DC police and the FBI are involved in the search here."

"Yeah, I'd like to see how long it will be before anyone picks up a scent of a kidnapping when all those guys are poking around this town!" Toby shouted, his voice ending at a considerably louder volume than when he started talking.

"The demand in return for her release is uranium. The very uranium from Georgia that you all worked to have extracted and secured."

"How is the President reacting?"

Leo shot Toby a meaningful glance.

"Not good. Not good at all," The understatement of the year, "I'm gonna see John Marbury in half an hour. Talk to Margaret and she'll get you all the appropriate papers."

Leo departed from the office at a pace probably considered too fast for a man who was recovering from a heart attack. Toby feared this new development would send his own heart into cardiac arrest.

* * *

It was midday before anyone realized it, and Leo had spent the latter part of the morning talking to Lord John Marbury. Leo was in no mood for the usual silliness and the Englishman could tell because for once in the time since he'd been appointed to the post of Ambassador to the US, he spoke sensibly and refrained from referring to Leo as 'Gerald.'

Leo asked Lord John if he could set up a phone call with the counterterrorism department of MI-5 since they seemed to be the people with the most experience with the Red Backs.

"I should warn you that Harry Pearce is…" Lord John gesticulated avidly and Leo prompted him with a look. "Well, he's a bit of a wet blanket is what he is. But you two should get along just fine. Both stony faced army chaps, you two are."

Leo resisted the strong temptation to roll his eyes and thanked the man anyway.

Margaret tried to bring him lunch like she used to when he was Chief but he waved her away, his stomach still unbearably upset since he witnessed what they were doing to CJ. He tried not to dwell on it or he'd lose all ability to think straight. Her screams echoed in his head as it was, and he was almost hopeless to block out the agony on her face as they beat her.

He, a seasoned war veteran, was having trouble with the fact that CJ Cregg was being used as a bargaining chip to obtain highly enriched uranium that she herself worked to extract from an unstable region. The irony was too bitter to withstand.

"Any news?"

Leo looked up and saw the President, who'd just emerged from the Oval. He sat at his old desk—CJ's desk—but he couldn't bring himself to say anything. He just nodded 'no' and steepled his fingers.

"I just talked to the Prime Minister. She's determined to condemn the Iranians, I couldn't talk her down."

"Well, who didn't see that coming sir?"

"Leo, all morning you've been twitchy. You know something I don't. I can tell when you're hiding something, what do you know that I don't?"

"All due respect sir, now is not the time. I would be undermining all those people who are trying to get her back and you need to concentrate."

"Leo, telling me the reasons why you can't really tell me anything only makes me want to know more."

Leo contemplated his friend carefully. He knew that Jed's insistence would win out but he wasn't sure he could allow the President of the United States to be walking around in despair only halfway through the work day.

"I can't, sir. Trust me, you can't afford to know what I do. Not yet."

"They're…they're hurting her, aren't they?"

Leo said nothing.

"Earlier, Kate knew something. They all knew, didn't they? Nancy, Rollie? I didn't question why they were all so certain of who had CJ, but good God it makes sense now!"

He was getting worked up. Leo knew there would be no graceful exit at this point so he took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly.

"There…There was an email. Footage of her…and they made a demand for uranium."

"Uranium? They want uranium? And no one thought it necessary to inform the President of their demands?"

"Whoever hired them wants the Georgian uranium we apparently acquired in the recent past. I don't know the details of the extraction since CJ handled it, but I know damn well that we are not, under any circumstances, supposed to negotiate with hostage takers. And you can't possibly understand how that makes me feel when the hostage is a woman who'd willingly sacrifice her life for either of us."

"Leo, I want to see the email."

This time, Leo's face betrayed his alarm.

"No. I've told you all that I know as of now but I cannot let you see the video."

"What are they doing to her?"

Gone was the leader of the free world. In his place was simply a man who'd lost someone important to him. Leo knew that look, he knew beyond all doubt then what he'd suspected for years.

"Sir, I cannot let you see that video." He said once more.

Their attention immediately turned to the news on Leo's TV, where Prime Minister Maureen Grady's face was depicted on camera.

"…_This is a barbaric, monstrous crime committed against Great Britain, against Europe, against the United States, against humanity. There can be absolutely no justification for the willful slaughter of one hundred innocent men, women and children…"_

Jed glared at Leo and was about to go back into the Oval when Leo abruptly leaned forward from his seat.

"_In other breaking news, we've just received confirmation that White House Chief of Staff Claudia Jean Cregg has been taken hostage by a terrorist organization. She was taken from her home by three masked men in the time between 3 and 4 am this morning. Interpol has declared that since it was confirmed she has been flown out of the country, an international search for her has commenced. The conditions for her release have not been made public for security purposes. The FBI and Interpol are working together to locate and bring her home…"_

Jed shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers.

"Who the HELL leaked it? There were, I don't know, twelve, thirteen people in that room including the both of us!"

"Oh my god."

"_The following footage was sent to the CIA early this morning, evidence that Cregg is still alive but severely injured. Viewer discretion is advised as the following footage may be deemed too disturbing for younger viewers at home."_

Onscreen, CJ was shown being held up by two goons. They were in a room devoid of any furniture with only one hanging lamp, giving the place a dinghy atmosphere along with the less than stellar quality of the camera.

Jed spotted the cut on her cheek, her swollen eye, the nasty bruises covering her long neck. Her blouse was bloody and torn, her legs looked boneless as she seemed to be incapable of standing on her own. She was incoherent, her head bobbing irregularly but her eyes were open.

"Is this the same footage that you're trying to keep me from watching? Don't tell me it is, because now that it's on national news, I'd like to see you try to keep me from watching the damn thing myself—"

The president exited the office and headed to the Situation Room. Leo remained in the chair, eyes glued to the TV. Normally he would chase down the leak but there simply wasn't time to spare.

"Harry Pearce, Section D of MI-5 on line one for you, Leo." Margaret called out.

Leo nodded and picked up the handset.

"Mr. Pearce. This is Leo McGarry from the White House. I'm President Bartlet's former Chief of Staff."

"Hello Mr. McGarry. I'd ask you how you are but judging from your news I thought it wise not to." Came the smooth English accent from the other end of the line. It was such a contrast to Lord John's sing song inflections, although Leo supposed he shouldn't assume that Lord John's trademark eccentricity represented the rest of his country.

"I suppose I could say the same for you too, sir. I wanted to ask about this group, the Red Backs. We haven't received complete reports from your office as of yet but I'm sure I don't need to tell you how time is of the essence in this particular situation."

"Our chief analyst is compiling what we have as we speak. We'll send all the files electronically to a secure address of your choice," Harry Pearce cleared his throat softly in what had to be the most polite manner Leo ever heard.

"Mr. McGarry, I do realize that this is a trying time for the President. You have my organization's full and unconditional support."

"Thank you."

"I'll ring your office the moment considerable progress has been made."

Leo hung up the phone and stood to stretch his legs. They were a bit sore today, the effects still lingered from the bypass surgery.

"Margaret!"

The redhead came bustling in, attentive as always.

"Get me the number of both of CJ's brothers. They deserve to know what's happening to her. We'll fly them out here if they want."

* * *

**Teaser: **There could be no repeat of the enactment of the 25th amendment this time…


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:** Hi all! I hope you had a lovely holiday. I know this story errs on the depressing side and because things will get worse before they get better, I have been reluctant to post anything new on account of the spirit of Christmas. However, I give you the next installment in the event that you need entertainment in the meantime until New Year's. Please review, I very much appreciate any feedback.

* * *

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. I'll take your questions now."

Toby shot a furtive look at Annabeth, standing to his right with a binder in her arms and an encouraging smile on her face.

There was immediately a clamoring for his attention and he called on the first person whose name he could remember. Cameras flashed at an unceasing rate, causing Toby to squint slightly as he looked out at the crowd of anxious reporters. Some who were close to the former Press Secretary appeared genuinely nervous but the general mood in the room was insatiably curious.

"Katie."

"Does the CIA know what time the video footage from CNN was recorded?"

"At this time it is estimated that it was recorded about an hour before it was received by the Agency's analysts. They are picking it apart probably as we speak. Mark."

"Have the terrorists made any demands for her safe return, and if so, is the White House willing to negotiate? This is the second time someone from the Bartlet's inner circle has been thrown into harm's way. What if things don't work out with the same luck as last time? Does the White House have a contingency plan?"

Toby bristled, "Don't talk as if you don't know her. This is Claudia Jean Cregg in case you'd forgotten, you know, the woman who until very recently stood at this podium and handled you with the skill and nuance that I daresay no one here can ever emulate. She is in an unspeakable amount of danger, and we are doing everything in our power to get her back."

"Is there any truth to the rumor that CJ was taken because of her personal relationship to the president?" A man from the Star Tribune shouted, his question stood out amongst the din.

"Meaning what?" Toby deliberately asked.

"Did they take her because of she's a valuable asset, or did they take her because she is not expendable to the President?"

"Let me get one thing straight, CJ Cregg isn't expendable regardless of her personal relationship with the President. While I can't answer your question, I will say that the White House doesn't respond to petty gossip. Leo McGarry is acting as Chief of Staff once again in the mean time. Now, does ANYONE have any questions that don't pertain to CJ?"

All reporters in the press briefing room stared at Toby with slightly sheepish faces.

"Maybe the child nutrition bill we've been trying to pass? Or the talks about cutting areas of the Defense budget? No?" Toby's voice returned to its natural timbre. "Alright, I'll update you all at the next briefing."

Toby Ziegler departed from the Press Briefing Room amidst a gaggle of flash happy photographers and reporters with Annabeth Schott following closely at his heels.

* * *

The President was ordered by Debbie back into the Residence for his daily nap, despite the inevitable fact that he would do anything but sleep. Jed sat in the study and turned on all of the tv's, each tuned into different news channels all running continuous coverage of the same story.

Mostly they focused on details of CJ's kidnapping but the unflattering remarks about her relationship with him, the President and her boss, would emerge periodically. He sat, unmoving.

"Jed, I'm told you haven't eaten yet."Came a voice from the door to his office.

It was Abbey. She was dressed smartly in a sapphire pantsuit, her hair swept up and makeup immaculate for someone who'd just flown back from South America. Jed looked at her blankly and then turned back to the tv.

"Jed." She tried to get his attention and stepped closer.

"I am in no mood to be lectured to right now, Abigail." His tone was utterly frosty, still refusing to look in her direction. Not once in thirty plus years have they ever been so estranged.

"She's my friend too, you know. I saw the video."

"All of it?"

"Yeah."

Abbey perched herself on the edge of his desk, choosing to keep quiet as the news anchor blathered on about CJ's alleged affair with the President being the reason for her eyebrow raising promotion.

"Son of a bitch," Jed growled angrily.

"Is it true?" Abbey shot at him, her anger ignited by the combination of the news report and her husband's words. Jed glared at her.

"Of course not."

Like a flame touched to a puddle of gasoline, their exchange inevitably combusted.

"Those pictures they ran in the Enquirer were not photoshopped. I could tell you were onto something, I know you, mister, don't you forget it—"

"Oh and since WHEN has the Enquirer become a reliable source of information for anybody?"

"Well right now it happens to be the most open source of information about the nature of my husband's infidelity! I swear, you've got Leo covering your ass like you're JFK reincarnated, you're evasive and angry whenever I try to talk to you—"

"You're hardly ever here for these so called conversations, Abigail."

"Just tell me, are you sleeping with her?" The First Lady capitulated, simply wanting to know the truth.

"No. No I'm not. You know what they're doing to her? They're strangling her and electrocuting her and hitting her because they wanna know where we put the uranium from Tblisi! They're hitting her with a cattle prod, for fuck's sake!"

Jed slammed his fist on the desk three times, knocking over the paperweights and penholders. His hair was ruffled and his cheeks were flushed, Abbey was taken aback by his uncharacteristic profanity. He was crying, she realized. In that moment, Abbey buried her anger and held her husband against her as he wept.

"Shhh…" She stroked his hair gently, "She's a fighter, Jed. By God, she'll fight them with every bone in her body before she betrays her country."

There could be no repeat of the enactment of the 25th amendment this time. Jed would have to step up because the scandal would be unfathomable were he to relinquish power again for a woman he was linked to romantically by the mainstream media.

There were tears running down Abbey's face too. She closed her eyes and prayed fervently for favorable solutions to all of the problems they currently faced. She held him tight because it was the right thing to do despite the conspicuous emptiness within her.

"You should lie down, sweetheart."

He hardly protested while she slung his arms over her neck and shoulder and supported him to the bedroom. Jed sank into the mattress, his fatigue taking over as his tears subsided and Abbey couldn't bring herself to let go of his hand.

* * *

**Teaser:** Her thoughts chased themselves in dizzy circles as she lowered herself to the cold floor.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: I hope I've kept everyone as in-character as possible. Here's the next installment!

* * *

…Thirty one, thirty two, thirty three, thirty four, thirty five…

She'd been counting the spots on the ceiling to keep her mind sharp. It also helped distract her from her hunger. Jo was asleep, CJ didn't want to deprive her of precious rest just to soothe her own fear through constant conversation.

It was presumably sometime in the early morning according to Jo before she succumbed to sleep. CJ calculated the time difference between Washington and London and tried to remember how long it had been since she was taken but the numbers spun in her head and she gave up trying to do even the simplest of math problems. A few hours seemed like days. In reality, it had been a little more than a day since she was taken.

The coordinates she blurted out weren't the real ones. About two hours passed until she was punished for it. After she was tossed back into her cell, she began laughing maniacally until she cried. When her sobs subsided, Jo asked her what she did. She told her she'd given them coordinates to somewhere in the north Pole and it had taken them two hours to figure out that she was pulling their legs.

CJ pictured her brothers, Matthew and Jonathan, her niece Hogan. She saw her father, sitting at home in Dayton and she vehemently hoped he wasn't alone when the story of her kidnapping broke on the news. She didn't know which was worse; that he might be alone when he witnessed footage of his daughter being tortured or that he might not even remember that she was his daughter at all.

She couldn't cry anymore, but there was still a hollow pain in her chest at the thought that she would never see them again. She pictured Jed and tried to remember his touch, tried to remember tenderness over the unrelenting violence. She felt numb as if she were observing the events from someone else's point of view, like she was watching herself through a glass wall. To tap into the comfort of those memories would almost be blasphemy in a setting like this.

Jo kept saying to keep up hope. CJ wasn't an idiot. She knew that the chance of being rescued decreased drastically with every passing moment, that her life expectancy was dwindling. At least she had the satisfaction of knowing that she hadn't given them anything to use against the United States. She wouldn't give them the coordinates to the uranium. It was put in the storage facility that was tucked away in Yucca Mountain in Nevada, so she wondered how they would successfully steal it even if they did know where it was. Then she realized that the men holding her were only seeking information. It would be up to someone else to obtain the uranium.

She'd always thought she was stronger than this. How could she have judged those who broke under torture so easily? Pilots shot down in enemy territory were held for weeks then executed at the end of their incarceration. She felt pathetic that her morale had sunk so low in such a relatively short amount of time. She imagined Leo fighting in Vietnam and her admiration for the man's fortitude was immeasurably renewed.

Her thoughts chased themselves in dizzy circles as she lowered herself to the cold floor to rest. She was tired but was afraid to sleep because lying down for too long made her ribs sting when she tried to sit back up. She was having a hard time breathing properly and she could acutely feel the burns on her calves from the prod. Her throat was now barely cooperating so she found herself drooling every couple of seconds. Her dignity was shredded into pathetic scraps.

Her eyes found the ceiling again.

Where was she? Thirty six, thirty seven, thirty eight, thirty nine…

* * *

"The leader of the group is an ex-Marine. You've got to be kidding me…" Kate mumbled, rifling through the freshly printed reports from London. "Jerry Townley…The pilot of the third private flight out of National this morning. Well at least we can confirm that he's the one who has CJ."

"He was dishonorably discharged in '92 for sexual assault allegations."

"Harry Pearce informed me that the CIA won't disclose intelligence on their known hideouts in Southern England. I called my old colleagues earlier and according to them even I don't have access to those documents so we can only wait. In the meantime, I've arranged to fly out to London to liaise with our people in Grosvenor Square as well as Thames House. I can probably get more done there than I can from here."

"When do you leave?"

"Wheels up at 0300 hours."

Leo nodded but he hated that there was nothing more to do right now. It was getting late into the evening and he and Kate had been in the Sit Room for hours, making phone calls to all of the relevant contacts they had which turned out to be quite a list between the both of them.

They'd also received several calls ranging from senators and congressmen expressing their concern for the new Chief of Staff, all the way to former colleagues and close friends including Sam Seaborn, Josh Lyman and Donna. Toby periodically checked in but there had been no major breakthroughs since he briefed that morning.

"Leo?"

"Hm?"

"May I ask why the President reacted the way he did when he saw the clip?"

The older man seemed careworn as he looked her over. "The President is a private man, Kate. I'm not sure he would appreciate me discussing this with anyone."

"Of course. I'm sorry, it's none of my business."

"Let's just say that she means a lot to him. They've known each other for years, since the first campaign."

"Yeah. I just…With all the recent press, I just thought there might be more to it than that."

"Do you really think I'd tell you if it was?"

"I honestly don't know what to think at this point. I just want to get her home before anything else can happen to her. It sounds awful but I don't know if I'll be able to handle this case impartially if she does give away the location of the uranium."

"She's dead the moment she does." Leo admitted softly.

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that."

"You gonna go home?"

"Does it look like I'm in any shape to schlep home only to leave a few hours later? I'm gonna crash on someone's couch tonight."

"Feel free to crash on mine."

"I wasn't aware you had a couch to offer."

"In my office. Shall we?"

The couple stood and both secretly enjoyed the break in the seemingly endless sorrow and tension that pervaded all interactions between them that day.

* * *

**Teaser: **"Sometimes if you stare hard enough, things make sense. Most of the time when you do, things slip through the cracks and you miss them."


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's note:** Ros Myers, Adam Carter, Harry Pearce, Joanna Portman and Robert ('Bob') Hogan are characters from the British spy drama 'Spooks.' They are not mine, I am just borrowing them.

Let me just say, writing this chapter was such a struggle. It was really confusing but I wanted to make it believable. The situations in the intelligence world seem to be all part of a huge patchy painting, all a whole but with distinct nuances. Some of it was inspired by an episode of Spooks, some of it I tweaked. Anyway, I hope you're enjoying this crazy ride so far. This story is looking to be 15 plus chapters, so we're getting there!

As always, please read and then tell me what you think, what I might improve on, etc etc. I really REALLY love all of you who have provided feedback or expressed your interest in this story. You make my day!

* * *

The flight to London was strangely uneventful. Not even much turbulence. She didn't mind flying cattle class, not when she'd traveled under far less auspicious circumstances many times before. Kate stared out the window, seeing nothing until she closed her eyes and fell into a dreamless slumber. When she jerked awake at the sound of the flight attendants pushing the food cart, she realized they had crossed the Atlantic while she slept. They touched down at Heathrow quickly.

"Commander Harper?"

She heard a woman call her name at baggage claim, presumably the MI-5 officer who was supposed to meet her and escort her to Thames House.

"My name is Rosalind Myers. I work for Harry Pearce."

This woman distinctly looked like she was not to be trifled with. Kate sized her up and assessed her lean strength and sharp gaze. Her hair was cropped close to her chin and much lighter than Kate's own blonde tresses. Myers was dressed in a crisp white shirt tucked into fitted black slacks and Kate felt a bit shabby, having just slept on a plane for several hours. They shook hands and Kate was pleasantly surprised that the strength of Myers' grip matched her own.

"Kate Harper, Deputy National Security Adviser to President Bartlet."

"I find it odd that he should send only one person."

"Doesn't want to make it a bigger deal than it already is."

Once Kate retrieved her single suitcase, the pair of women exited the airport in purposeful silence.

There was a car waiting for them outside, a sleek black Lexus, which Kate found amusing. She wished the Agency had upgraded to these while she was working there.

"We're going straight to Thames House. I'm sorry there's no opportunity for you to go to your hotel first but as you can imagine, things are moving fast and there's no time to spare. Leave your suitcase in the boot and the driver will ensure it gets to your hotel room."

"Okay. I understand. Honestly, I prefer to cut to the chase."

They climbed into the back of the car, sliding across the buttery leather seats and Ros looked at Kate with something like interested indifference, if there was ever such a thing.

"A few days ago, we received a tip off from the Venezuelan Secret Service that an Al Qaeda splinter cell in London was planning a bombing of an unspecified girl's school. Their motive for informing us about this was to ask us to stop an assassination attempt on their President during his visit here next week. The Venezuelans then told us to give Robert Hogan a ring. They seemed to believe that the assassination was a CIA plan," She paused to observe Kate. "You know Hogan's your man here at your embassy."

"Yeah I know him. He was my station chief at one point." She didn't mention where she was stationed when she knew him, she got the sense that Ros wasn't particularly fond of Bob Hogan.

"In any case, when we asked Hogan what he knew about these allegations, he claimed to be out of the loop. However, he did share reliable intel that a group called The Red Backs was taking aim at MI-5."

"Seems like you've had a rough couple of days too. With the whole United Britannia thing too."

Ros snorted quietly. "Yes, you could say that."

Kate noticed the shadows beneath the other woman's eyes, the pallor of her angular face.

"Your agent that was captured. She's a friend?"

"Yes." Those green eyes were piercing. "You should know that my boss is negotiating with both the Venezuelans and the Americans. He agreed to turn over any assassin we apprehend to the Venezuelans and any Al-Qaeda terrorists we catch to you."

"You mean 'caught.' I read in one of the reports that you successfully foiled an attack at Camden School for Girls."

If Ros was surprised that that piece of intelligence was included in the reports sent to the NSC, she certainly didn't show it. She was compelled to come clean though.

"We apprehended two men. They're currently in our custody but we've kept this information mostly private. You understand these are our bargaining chips."

Kate nodded in understanding. She hadn't forgotten how intricately woven the intelligence community was but she had definitely gotten used to working in abstract terms and aggregations in the White House. Advising the President was unspeakably different than working in the field as Ros did.

One thing struck her as a little odd.

"How does the Venezuelan assassination attempt coincide so neatly with the Red backs' involvement in the kidnapping of your officer? Doesn't it feel a little weird?" Kate asked quizzically.

"Sometimes if you stare hard enough, things make sense. Most of the time when you do, things slip through the cracks and you miss them," Ros intoned, brushing a wayward strand of hair from her eyes, "Our chief analysts are trying to find a link."

Kate didn't think Ros was one to miss a single thing, but then again she looked pretty worn out. The rest of the car ride was quiet, both of them looking out the window as the city passed them by. The driver slowed down and pulled over and Ros got out swiftly, walking toward the entrance to Thames House. Kate followed, her purse the only thing she took with her.

* * *

After the complicated process of being signed in and searched by security, they were allowed to make their way to the inner sanctum of the counterterrorism department: a vast and intimidating floor space called the 'Grid.'

People were rushing in all directions, files, papers and coffee mugs in their hands. Kate looked around and saw a man behind a desk, speaking intently into a phone. His separate office was visible through the high glass walls and open blinds.

"That's Harry. He's probably talking to Hogan." Ros answered her unspoken question.

Then Ros led her into what looked like their main meeting room, away from the hustle and bustle outside. There was a long black table with two sets of telephones on top and at least a dozen chairs around it. A blank television screen was mounted on the wall at the head of the table, probably used to display information during briefings. She and Ros pulled out chairs to sit down.

Kate turned at the sound of her name.

"Commander Harper?" This time it was a man who looked like he should be modeling for Calvin Klein, not working in intelligence. "Adam Carter. Ros and I are responsible for this operation."

"Good to meet you. I think I'm up to speed. My main goal is obviously to retrieve CJ Cregg as soon as possible. How close are you to getting a location?"

"Should be soon. My boss is talking to Robert Hogan, he claims to have a blacklist of all known Red back hideouts but he's not sharing because he claims he needs authorization from Langley. The pitfalls of bureaucracy, eh? "

Kate nodded in response. She ran a hand through her hair and sighed, she felt a bit jetlagged.

"Sorry, do you want coffee or water? Ros probably hustled you over here."

"Water would be good, please."

"Of course." Carter disappeared to fetch a bottle of water, much to Ros's amusement.

"He likes to please the ladies," She murmured beneath her breath.

Kate sensed that there was something between the two but she just met them and it wasn't in her place to make a comment, even if Carter was enough to make her rethink her opinion on David Beckham.

Adam returned and handed her a bottle of water just as Harry Pearce emerged from his office. The two men joined them at the table and Kate got the sense that they were going to finally get down to business.

"Commander Harper, my name is Harry Pearce. I trust you've met these two already."

"Yes, sir. I want to thank you for cooperating with us on this."

"I wish I could say the same for your Embassy. Bob Hogan's been dragging his heels from the start." It looked like he wanted to say more but was restraining himself for Kate's sake.

"Absolutely, if I may say so, Hogan can be one hell of a bastard. Sometimes it's hard to remember whose side he's on."

Harry threw her a look of approval, she laughed internally at the thought that she was probably the only tolerable American these people have ever dealt with. Ros wasted no time and piped in.

"I believe that Hogan would be more willing to talk if we guaranteed the exchange of the two men we arrested yesterday. Harry's been talking to the DG about brokering some sort of agreement but the DG doesn't want to give them up because of their value as informants on their splinter cell. He didn't even want anyone to know we have these men, much less you Americans. We've obviously sacrificed that intel by sharing it with you."

"Well what about the Venezuelans? Have you been monitoring the President's movements through the city?"

Ros looked slightly miffed at the affront to their security procedures for foreign dignitaries.

"Of course we've been monitoring him. We've got a team out specifically for that purpose. There's been no attempt on his life as of yet."

Kate absorbed this, that odd feeling tickling the corner of her mind.

"Do you mind if I make a phone call back to Washington?"

"Not at all, use one of these. These are secure lines." Adam gestured to the phone closest to her. Kate gratefully picked up the phone since her cell went dead and her charger was in her suitcase. Harry, Ros and Adam respectfully gave her space to make her call, vacating the room entirely.

"Leo…it's me. We're getting somewhere…" She proceeded to tell him all that she'd heard, from Ros first and then Harry. "Anyway, the Venezuelan Secret Service says that the CIA hired an assassin to take their President out during his state visit to the UK. I'm not sure if that's been confirmed on our side but Bob Hogan has been his usual cooperative self," Her tone was laced with sarcasm, "He's been slow from the get go according to Pearce…Oh..Wait, Leo. Shit, I just realized something. I'll call you back."

Kate hung up the phone, her brow furrowed pensively. She turned right around to find Ros watching her.

"How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough."

"I have a hunch. I have a hunch and I want to run it by you."

"I'm _all_ ears."

Kate was rapidly coming to find that Ros had a wicked supply of acerbic wit that might have been otherwise enjoyable, had she not felt like she was being patronized in less than five words by a woman worthy of a starring role in a James Bond novel.

"Hogan's in on it. He's one of the Red Backs. You said yourself that he's the one who pointed you in that direction. Come on, the Venezuelans come out of left field with a tip that their President is being targeted by a CIA assassin that I, the Deputy National Security Advisor to POTUS, know nothing about? _He's_ the one responsible for the disappearance of your officer, and my friend and colleague. He's been playing everyone. The Venezuelan thing was a distraction; you have an entire surveillance team watching for an assassin that's never going to strike! Meanwhile, he orchestrates the kidnapping of your colleague. "

"Even if this cockamamie scheme you just cooked up is true, what is his goal? Why would he sell out MI-5 officers and CJ Cregg to a mercenary group, other than for obvious profit? I highly doubt the reason would be ideological."

"That's what we need to find out. We're going to Grosvenor House."

* * *

**Teaser: **"And your tolerance for pain hasn't increased in the decade since I've last seen you. It _is _comforting to see some things haven't changed."


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note:** Well, I hope you all have had a lovely New Year's Eve/Day! I am moving back to school tonight so I wanted to post before I'm completely worn out, haha. Here's the next installment!

* * *

Leo was relieved that the United Britannia thing had come to a somewhat favorable end. To appease the British, they would leak to the Press that the Iranian airforce had made a mistake in identifying the commercial airplane when they shot it down, as supported by the recording that DoD obtained of the pilot's attempts to establish visual contact with the plane.

The Ayatollah, a man immeasurably proud of the airforce, would be compelled to apologize rather than admit that the pilot screwed up. It was the best the White House could do to ensure Britain didn't retaliate against Iran.

All that was left to do was wait for information to arrive from across the pond regarding CJ's status. Leo couldn't remember the last time he slept. Margaret hovered and tried to keep him from overdoing it but he had a strong will and he knew Jed was probably worse off than him.

The two of them were sitting in the living room of the Residence at midnight, lost in the obscurity of their thoughts. Abbey was sleeping in the bedroom.

"I keep seeing her face, Leo."

Jed's voice was shadowed with quiet anguish. He wore an old Notre Dame sweatshirt and jeans and his hair was messy. In short, he looked miserable.

"I know. Me too."

"I asked Abbey what that sort of treatment would do to somebody. The oxygen deprivation from the strangling…She could be brain dead, Leo. She's in a cell somewhere lying brain dead because she agreed to work for me."

"Don't do this to yourself, sir." But Leo could already see the buildup of self recriminations within the President's troubled eyes.

"She so thin, Leo. She's always been tall and that's made her look strong but really she's so fragile. She's—She's just Claudia Jean from Dayton, Ohio…"

He was outright babbling now. Leo knew it was time for the President to sleep. He'd held it together through the talks with the Iranian Ambassador, senior staff, his press briefing and Hutchinson. He'd gone about state business and his inordinately busy schedule with ruthless efficiency despite his exacerbated limp and physical fatigue. Now was time for him to rest.

"Jed, you should sleep. You're no good to anyone when you're a rambling mess."

"I'm tired of people telling me I need to sleep! When I close my eyes, I can only hear every unkind, brisk word I've said to her. I can only think of how disappointed she was when I sent Jai Yung Ahn back to North Korea, how she threatened to resign because of the MS…"

The last part of his rant was understandably quieter than the rest. Leo sat in front of him, speechless.

"Abbey wants a divorce. We've kept it between us since she returned from New Hampshire. She can't stand the gossip rags even though I've told her repeatedly that I've been faithful to her. And with the MS and the suspension of her license, then Zoey's kidnapping, I'm causing her too much pain."

"Jed, you can't. This will hurt you. You'll lose all credibility with the American people and Congress won't take you seriously." Leo looked thunderstruck at his close friend's revelation.

"We've agreed to wait until the term is over."

"Until then you'll need to keep up appearances."

"I know."

"Go to sleep, sir. I'll be right here."

Leo watched his close friend of several years stand and disappear into the bedroom. He, on the other hand, probably wouldn't be finding any sleep tonight. He was still having a difficult time fathoming the idea of Abbey wanting a divorce. Leo supposed it might be fair to say that Jed had it coming, if they compared lives, Leo could have forewarned Jed of the possibility that the pressure of leading such a public life would be too much for Abbey. If his failed marriage with Jenny taught him anything it was that women didn't like being put in second place, especially when there was another woman.

Except there really wasn't. But as this woman in question had once said herself, it's not what it really is, it's what it looks like that everyone really cares about.

* * *

"Why if it isn't Miss Kate Harper! It's been a long time, hasn't it?"

The man hadn't changed in the ten years since she'd last seen him, right down to the way he purposely refused to address her by her proper rank. He approached her and held a hand out, a handshake she resolutely ignored. Ros was at her side.

"And the effervescent Miss Myers too. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Spare us the chicken shit, Bob. We know what you're up to, we just want to know how we can get our people back." Kate asserted strongly. He may have been her boss once but she had come a long way since then.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Sit down, let me get you a drink—"

Before Kate could comprehend what was happening, Ros kicked Hogan in the midsection with her heeled boot, sending him careening backwards onto his mahogany desk. The impact of his back hitting the desk sent resounded throughout the small office. Ros didn't hesitate in grabbing the letter opener that was conveniently within arm's reach and holding it up to his throat while pinning the stocky man down.

"Bob, you tell us where Jo is or I swear I'll slit your throat." The threat was laden with venom.

Kate stared at the scene, gob smacked that the slender woman she'd shared two car rides with dared to manhandle Bob Hogan like he was an errant child.

When Hogan said nothing, Ros applied pressure to the letter opener, initiating a shallow cut that drew a little blood. Immediately he yelped and Ros relented before she could do any further damage. She still kept him pinned, however.

"Alright, alright. Let me up."

"No, not until you look me in the eye and tell me where you're holding Joanna Portman. She's only twenty four for God's sake."

"Are you working for the Red backs?" Kate reinserted herself into the conversation.

He was silent for a moment more and so quietly he admitted, "Yes."

Ros bared her teeth and tightened her hold on him.

"Why did you sell Jo out?"

"It was money to be made, Ros. They already had Zafar Younis, someone was thirsty for another British agent. It was meant to be you, you know, you're a much juicier catch. But she was the one who showed up at the meet because you were called away."

"You son of a bitch!" The ferocious woman raised her fist threateningly but Kate grabbed hold of her arm before she could bring it down on Hogan's face.

"Ros! No. I need to find out why they went to such lengths for CJ."

Bob's eyes flicked sideways and latched onto Kate, they were full of scorn.

"The Iranian government was interested in obtaining nuclear material from Georgia, right up until the United States swept in and lifted it. Who was responsible for the extraction? Hm? I believe it was one Claudia Jean Cregg, a controversial female who has recently been portrayed on the news as an adulterer and a loose woman. The Red backs were hired by the Special Consul in an effort to cover the regime's tracks as it pursued its desire to obtain the uranium that would have been theirs if not for CJ Cregg's interference. And the rumor that they'd shot down a US spy plane that had wandered into their airspace was the cherry on top. "

"How could you? CJ's a fellow American and that plane was full of civilians!"

"I hate to put it like this and run the risk of sounding like a cartoon villain but really, these guys were ready to offer some serious money."

"Tell us where they're being held and I'll negotiate a deal with the Attorney General on your behalf. You're definitely gonna be thrown out of your cozy post here and you can forget about serving anywhere at home. You'll be charged for treason against the United States, best case scenario, life imprisonment. I don't think I have to tell you the worst." Kate crossed her arms.

"Your interrogation skills always needed work, Kate. It's comforting to see that some things haven't changed."

Ros raised a fist again and this time brought it down on the man's face, fracturing his nose cleanly. He cried out in alarm and flailed a bit, but she continued to hold him down as blood coated his face.

"And your tolerance for pain hasn't increased in the decade since I've last seen you. It _is _comforting to see some things haven't changed." Kate said smugly from her vantage point.

"Tell us where you're holding them. There are several other parts of your body I have no qualms about breaking so I suggest you make your next choice wisely." said Ros without any flicker of indecision.

"They're in the abandoned warehouse in Ealing, Greater London. But they're scheduled to pack up and move out tomorrow, you damn fascists!"

Kate's heart was racing at the realization that she was one hundred percent right in her hunch, and that because she was right she didn't have to worry about being charged with battery of a senior U.S. diplomat. Her blood rushed through her in a frenzy as she realized that this also meant they were going to get CJ back alive.

Ros let go of him abruptly and whipped out her mobile from the inside pocket of her black leather jacket. "I need CO19 at the only abandoned warehouse in Ealing. There are hostages, hold fire until I get there."

She hung up and dialed another number.

"Adam, I have a location and I've sent CO19 about a minute ago, I'm still at the American Embassy with Harper. They're at the abandoned warehouse in Ealing, tell Harry and get him and Ruth on tech support. I'll meet you there."

Ros turned her attention back to Hogan, still sprawled unflatteringly across the surface of his desk. Kate caught Ros' eyes and knew what she was thinking. Ros lifted Hogan by the shirt collar and tossed him into the visitor's chair, where Kate could more easily keep watch over him while Ros went to make another phone call to tip off Interpol so they could make an official arrest.

When Ros hung up her phone, Kate was staring at her.

Ros raised an eyebrow and pocketed the phone. "How did you know that he'd be behind this?"

Hogan glared at both of them but otherwise remained silent.

"I didn't." Kate was never so thankful to be absolutely correct on something. Ros nodded and promptly departed, leaving Kate and her charge alone in the office to await the Interpol officers.

* * *

**Teaser:** "Her body will heal. But the scars in her mind will take longer. "


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's note:** Okay, so I went a little (or a lot) heavy on the mush in this chapter. I wanted to be nice to CJ considering all I put her through. Read and review, if you please.

* * *

"_This is Lisa Davis reporting from London, England. New information regarding the successful raid carried out last night in a dilapidated warehouse in Ealing has just been released. A group of three men have been taken into custody by British armed police force or CO19 as they're known. They have been part of an illegal operation throughout Europe and parts of the Middle East, functioning as a kind of mercenary group that obtains intelligence through torture for high paying, anonymous clients. More importantly, these men are responsible for the kidnap and torture of Claudia Jean Cregg, newly appointed White House Chief of Staff. We are told that Ms. Cregg is being treated for severe trauma wounds at an undisclosed hospital here in London."_

Jed wanted to fall to his knees when he heard and saw the news. Abbey was beside him when Leo burst into the Residence, yelling at them to turn on CNN. There was not a dry eye in the room when they saw the news.

"_She was originally reported missing when she did not show up for work on Tuesday morning. She was held for a little more than three days by the group called "The Red Backs." Their name is derived from the spiders…"_

The tv was turned off and it was simply the three of them, relieved but still profoundly dazed.

"They got her back, Jed, Abbey." Leo murmured at them respectively. "She'll be transported here when she's in a stable enough condition and she'll be further treated at Bethesda."

"How did they find her so fast?" Jed looked every one of his years when he questioned Leo.

"Kate didn't fully explain but from what I understood, she chanced upon a breakthrough at our embassy."

Jed sat back down on the sofa with his head in his hands. Abbey looked powerless to say anything meaningful to him but she summoned the enormous effort anyway.

"Her body will heal. But the scars in her mind will take longer. " Abbey stated, the doctor making herself known in her no-nonsense tone.

"Yeah." Leo noted Jed's despondency with concern.

"The agent assigned to CJ's room just called me five minutes ago." Leo said, more directly at Jed.

"What did she say? How bad is it?"

"Well, she was extremely dehydrated when she got to the hospital. The medical team said that CJ sustained multiple burn marks on her back and legs as well as damage to her trachea and larynx. Those were the worst of the injuries. Other than that, she sustained superficial wounds, a black eye, split lip and three broken fingers on her left hand."

Abbey couldn't stop a tear from rolling down her cheek. CJ was a close friend and a woman she respected despite everything. She'd never wish those injuries on anyone. She put a hand on Jed's shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. She and Leo were the only ones who could truly understand the extent of the blame that Jed inflicted upon himself.

"Mr. President, I also came in to tell you that you have a 1:15 with Congressman Miller and Josh about the child nutrition bill."

"Thank you Leo. For everything."

Jed stood up from the sofa and walked out of the Residence with renewed energy, although he still limped Leo suspected that the news served to renew the President's anger at the people responsible.

When it was only Abbey and Leo, Abbey took the opportunity to speak up.

"I don't know if he's told you, but we agreed to a divorce at the end of this term." She didn't cast her eyes down, rather she looked directly at him with fiery eyes.

"He might have mentioned it, yes. Abbey, you know he hasn't pursued any extramarital relations with anyone, don't you? He wouldn't do that to you."

"I know."

Two simple words infused with such heartbreak that Leo almost felt too. He looked at her sadly, sensing that no matter how he tried to put it, the end of an era had arrived.

"Liz, Ellie and Zoey will be devastated. What about Gus and Annie?" Leo asked.

"Yes. They will be. But they're adults and they'll learn to understand. When they see that we are both happier when we're apart, they'll understand. As for the grandchildren, they'll still see us, we just won't be together. I can't stay, Leo-I can't keep being First Lady, even after we leave this place. I can't do what needs to be done and I can't stand this resentment I feel every time I look at my husband. It shouldn't be that way." Abbey broke eye contact and her voice caught in her throat.

"He needs someone who has the same drive. Lord knows that hasn't been me since he began his second term." She said with a little more force than was necessary.

Leo could only nod at this frank admission.

"And I know that we have to keep the happy faces until it's over, I respect that. I will play my part until it's done, I promise you." Abbey said before turning back to the bedroom.

Leo left the Residence with a thousand things flying through his mind. There was still a country to run after all.

* * *

A week later and CJ was finally flown back to the United States. A medical team was sent with her on the plane to monitor her condition during the journey. She had an IV in her arm due to the bruising of her trachea since she couldn't properly swallow food. To assist her breathing and ensure she was receiving enough oxygen, she had tubes in her nose. She couldn't talk properly because of the damage to her larynx so she wrote down most of her requests. On the last day before she was rescued, she'd been kicked so hard in the ribs that two of them broke and were pressing into her diaphragm. These were of course the first things that were tended to in immediate surgery.

She dreamed and woke up in a panic so frequently that the doctors kept her sedated as much as was safely possible.

They landed at Andrews Airforce Base where an ambulance was waiting to transport her to Bethesda Naval Hospital in which she would spend the rest of her recovery.

CJ's family including her father was present when she arrived at the hospital. She was awake and glad to see them but she couldn't speak much. CJ's niece Hogan (a name which would soon become notorious in CJ's mind but for a completely different reason) was torn between tears and giddy laughter at seeing her aunt alive.

The difficult visits didn't occur until the second night of her stay in the hospital. CJ drifted in and out of consciousness, only vaguely registering the presence of the nurses that took care of her. When she was awake, she stared blankly into space, seeing nothing.

"Miss Cregg?"

She looked up at the nurse, Sandra. At least that's what her name might have been. Sandra was around fifty and had a distinct quality about her that strongly reminded CJ of her mother.

"You have some visitors." The nurse opened the door wider to allow said visitors entry. CJ tried not to flinch when two agents came into the room to inspect it. Her heart rate sped up when she saw their height and builds, so similar to the men who held her. She broke into a cold sweat despite her attempts to calm herself.

The nurse could see this so she urged the men out as soon as they were sure that the room was secure. Then in walked Jed Bartlet, Leo McGarry, Toby Ziegler, Josh Lyman and Donna Moss, their hearts on their faces. She supposed that Carol and Margaret would soon darken her doorway too.

"We came as soon as we could." Leo spoke first in a voice so soft, it was like she was a shy fawn that would bolt at the slightest provocation.

"I know." A whisper was all she could manage when it felt like an iron band was strapped tight around her upper body.

"How are you feeling?" Donna asked, coming to sit at her bedside and hold her hand.

"Been better." CJ smiled sadly.

Josh was robbed of any words, he just gazed and gazed at this warrior of a woman.

"CJ, we're so glad you're back. I just want you to know that we're a phone call away if you need us at any time." Toby said his piece, emotions stealing across his normally stoic face. CJ looked at him and offered another wan smile, it was the best she could do at the moment.

The President lingered behind all of them, fearful of interrupting the moment. CJ felt his presence however, it was intoxicating to be so close and yet so far to the man whose image buoyed her through the bleak times she'd faced in that dank cell.

At last, the President asked if he could have the room. Everyone including the agents and nurse hovering nearby complied.

Jed sat in the chair Donna just vacated, incapable of doing anything but resting his eyes upon the face of a woman he undeniably and deeply loved.

CJ's eyes filled with tears as she read his countenance.

"I didn't rat you out, boss. They tried to make me but I didn't." The words were choked out as if she was desperate to tell him.

Some invisible, painful thing within him broke. He reached for her hands, mindful of the cast on her left hand.

"Stay until I fall asleep?"

He nodded, against his better judgment; he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. Her eyes, so worryingly hollow, were fixated on him until he thought he would implode. Then she closed them and leaned back into her pillows, her fractured hand still ensconced in his.

A few moments later, Leo re entered the room to find them like that, Jed stroking her forearm gently with his free hand. He hesitated at the doorway but eventually brought himself to say that everyone else was going home but would return sporadically throughout the next day.

"Alright. I'm staying here."

"Jed, what do I tell Abbey?" Leo asked warningly.

"She should have been here tonight."

"She didn't want to crowd the room any more than it was. She'll visit tomorrow morning."

He meant that she didn't want to be in the same room as her husband and best friend, to still be able to deny that their relationship had somehow evolved while she wasn't looking.

"I'm staying." Jed stared Leo down.

"Alright, sir. The agents are right outside."

With that, Leo left and it was just him and his turbulent thoughts. He'd read Kate Harper's report on the reason for CJ's kidnapping. If there was one thing for certain, it was that Bob Hogan was never, EVER going to be eligible for a Presidential Pardon. His trial would be an irreversible smear on State Department's reputation as well as the CIA's, the prosecution of a previously well regarded U.S. ambassador whose treasonous actions have insidiously damaged the special relationship between America and Britain.

Jed stared at her, watching her breathe with the help of the oxygen tubes. No matter how many times he was told of her injuries, he couldn't believe how vulnerable she appeared in person. Trying to imagine how a human being could inflict such suffering on another rendered him hopelessly angry.

An hour passed, then two. Jed was asleep in the chair when CJ's hand jerked out of his grasp and she was suddenly thrashing around in her bed, asleep but experiencing a particularly terrifying nightmare. Jed sat there, stunned, until his agents rushed in and hauled him out of the way so that the nurses could restrain her and prevent her from re-fracturing her ribs.

"Get away from me! Let me go!" She screamed even as Sandra held her against her body firmly, speaking calming words and stroking her hair.

"It's just a dream, sweetie, you're safe. You're in your hospital room and you're safe. Shhhh…."

CJ's breathing slowed gradually, she returned to herself within a couple of minutes. Jed stood back, now having witnessed the purported anxiety attacks that she'd been facing ever since her imprisonment.

"I'm sorry, Mr. President but Miss Cregg really needs to rest. You're welcome to visit tomorrow."

"Yes. Yes, of course. Thank you Sandra. You'll be here to watch her for the rest of the night, right?"

"Yes, sir. My shift is until 6:00 am."

"If I could just say good night to her."

Sandra nodded patiently. "I'll be right outside." She took the agents with her on the way out and shut the door behind her.

"I'm so sorry, Claudia—" Jed crossed the room quickly and she held out her arms to him, wanting nothing more than to be completely surrounded by him.

He enfolded her in his arms, uncaring that it was an uncomfortable position for him because of the railing of the bed. She buried her face in his chest and clutched at his back. For that one sacred moment, they put aside their guilt, all thoughts of his failing marriage, her deeply ingrained fear. His touch, his smell and his voice were her world.

"I love you, Jed." She whispered, the words for his ears alone.

He kissed the top of her head repeatedly, and then bent to kiss her lips softly. She caressed his cheek, feeling the wetness of his tears.

"I'll be back as soon as I can tomorrow."

He couldn't resist kissing her again, parting her lips sweetly. He trusted her to feel what he meant to say through his touch, to understand that what could not be said now would keep until he could come back to her.

* * *

**Teaser: **

"Please state your name for the record, Miss Cregg."

"You've gotta be kidding me."


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note**: Ahhh school is picking up again but I won't let it stop me from updating! Hahaha. So from this point on, the focus is relationships as well as the psychological aftereffects of CJ's kidnapping. As always, thank you to EVERYONE who has read and reviewed, especially Cortezcy! You have no idea how much I appreciate substantial feedback. Don't be afraid to criticize either, that way I can learn from my mistakes especially since long plots are something I'm still getting used to. I am a chronic comma monster but I'm trying to kick the habit…

By the way I originally started posting this fic on the Jed/CJ board on Yahoo groups but it wasn't getting much of a response. Maybe one day I'll put the rest up on there.

* * *

CJ couldn't sleep after Jed left her room. She was still reeling from his kisses, the possibilities making her desperately wish she wasn't hooked to an IV and oxygen tubes so that she could get back to the White House. She wondered how Abbey was. CJ truly believed Jed wouldn't act on his feelings unless he was absolutely sure what he wanted to do. She sighed and decided to halt that line of thought until she'd clarified with him.

It was morning now and Sandra had opened the blinds before she left so some daylight could shine into the sterile room. CJ looked out the window, unthinking, until she turned to look at the door. It was pushed open and in walked none other than George Rollie with a man who she assumed was his assistant. They were both smartly dressed down to their shiny leather shoes and CJ felt uneasy because she knew she couldn't hide her apprehension.

"Good morning CJ." Rollie said as he stepped to her bedside. The assistant stood behind him, opening his briefcase and removing a pad of paper.

"I thought you'd be more amenable to discussion first thing. This is Ed Hammond and he's going to be handling your debriefing."

"Can't this wait until I'm…" CJ glanced from Rollie to Hammond, "I'm ready to return to the White House? I can only sustain a conversation for a few minutes, gentlemen."

"National security, Miss Cregg." Hammond stated flatly while clicking a pen and beginning his notes. CJ supposed she had no choice and her hatred of hospitals increased tenfold in that single instant.

"I'm sure you and Ed will be just fine for the next couple of hours. I have things to attend to at Langley."

After Rollie took his leave, Hammond wasted no time in initiating the interrogation. What was it with Agency men who seemed to enjoy finding the most inconvenient times possible to conduct business? She was shooting him the death stare but it didn't work so well considering he was incessantly occupied with labeling his notes correctly.

"Please state your name for the record, Miss Cregg."

"You've gotta be kidding me." She looked exasperated."Claudia Jean Cregg. I'm known by most as CJ. Need me to spell it?"

"The attitude gets us nowhere, Miss Cregg. You were taken from your home at approximately 0300 hours on Tuesday morning, November 6th, correct?"

"You make it sound like I scheduled it."

Another pointed glance and she acquiesced. "Okay well it was more like…3:46 ish. Maybe 4. I don't really remember."

"Describe the men who took you."

"They were wearing masks. And they stuck me in the neck with a neurotoxin that rendered me unable to move."

"Surely they weren't wearing masks the entire time?"

"I blacked out right after they stuck me…But the man who was in charge, the one who interrogated me. He removed his mask during my…sessions. He was maybe around six feet, two inches. Salt and pepper hair, very well built. Came off as ex-military. I can't remember the color of his eyes."

"Good, you're doing well so far, CJ."

She also abhorred the way he praised her like an obedient lapdog at his feet.

"What happened after you woke up?"

"I was in a cell alone, my hands and feet were tied up with black cords. There was a little window; I think it was daytime or late afternoon when I woke up."

"Did you realize you were in a different country?"

"Not on my own, I didn't. There was another prisoner in the cell next to me, whom I could communicate with via the small crack in the wall between us. She had a really accurate take on what was going on."

"State her name for the record."

"Jo. That's all I knew her by…Jo."

Hammond scribbled the name down while CJ was racked with a need to find out what happened to the girl who'd shared her misery.

"I assume you spoke to her often during your time there."

"Yeah. It was the only way I could calm myself, particularly on the first day. She works for MI-5, she was taken when her contact within the group turned her in." CJ's throat was beginning to feel slightly tender. She knew she'd be voiceless again soon at this rate.

"Had it occurred to you that she might have been part of the entire setup? Did you tell her anything pertaining to your job as White House Chief of Staff?"

"I didn't tell her who I was at first. She would have figured it out anyway. I think she could tell I wasn't a soldier or spy." She defended Jo despite the niggling doubt in the back of her mind.

"That was a huge gamble."

"I didn't think it was a gamble at the time. I was scared out of my _wits_, Mr. Hammond."

"Alright, no need to bite my head off. Anyway, for your information the group responsible for your capture is known in the intelligence world as The Red Backs. You know, like the spiders."

"The symbolism is fascinating." She deadpanned.

"Their branch in the UK consisted of only seven men. The three in Ealing were caught but the rest dove underground after their leader's arrest. The one in charge was Jerry Townley, he's American and an ex-Marine. He was the one who flew you to London and who was identified from the video footage he sent of you to a CIA server. The other two were Englishmen, Rupert Baxter and Malcom Norris. Their backgrounds are sketchy. Baxter was shot and killed during the raid, Norris is facing charges along with Townley."

CJ listened, partly glad that the men who were faceless in her mind's eye were slowly becoming less so.

"Besides you, four other prisoners were released. Among them was a Joanna Portman, an MI-5 operative."

"Oh thank God!" She cried out. Her unfettered hand came up to rest against her forehead as she shut her eyes in relief.

Thankfully, Hammond let her have a moment.

"She is still stationed in Thames House, as far as I know."

When CJ still didn't reply, Hammond grew a little impatient and cleared his throat not so discreetly.

"You know, hearing the effort it takes for a person to hold down their screams is a LOT worse than the actual thing. I listened to them hitting her. It's like trying to stifle a volcanic eruption but she made the effort because she knew I was scared. So I don't appreciate your little act. As a matter of fact, I don't appreciate that your boss saw fit to have me gutted and examined without my consent."

Hammond appeared contrite.

"I'll be back tomorrow, same time, Miss Cregg." He packed up his papers and put on his coat.

"It's the meds, they make me loopy."

Although her tone was filled with the richest cynicism CJ was grateful that a shrink hadn't been sent in yet. After all, this was only the beginning of the aftermath. She shuddered to imagine an appointment with a traumatologist like Stanley Keyworth.

The next visit was right after her lunch which consisted of only a bowl of soup that she could only finish half of before her throat stopped cooperating. It was ludicrous that a piece of bread would be included, as CJ's baleful stare indicated.

The nurse who worked the afternoon shift, a young woman named Lana took away the tray and was surprised to see the First Lady of the United States outside CJ's hospital room. She was amused at the sheer amount of Secret Service agents she'd seen since her patient took up residence there. The First Lady traveled domestically with four and there were already two stationed at CJ's door.

"Good afternoon, I'm Abigail Bartlet. May I go in and see her?"

"Yes ma'am, go right ahead. She just finished her lunch so she might be a little drowsy."

"Thank you."

CJ gritted her teeth, able to overhear a little of the First Lady's words. She had a feeling that this conversation would be a different kind of torture. She decided to keep quiet and let Abbey get the ball rolling.

"Hello, Claudia Jean."

Oh heavens, the full name.

"Hello ma'am."

"How are you feeling?"

"Only hurts when I breathe."

"Don't breathe then."

CJ laughed a little but stopped when her chest twinged in protest. Abbey apologized.

"May I sit?"

"Please, ma'am."

Both of them were uncharacteristically mute. Such charged exchanges and arguments in the past, all of the irritation Abbey felt toward CJ sort of momentarily dissipated, seeing CJ in person. Abbey of all people fully understood how long it took to heal two fractured ribs as well as prevent a diaphragmatic hernia from forming, while dealing with a retropharyngeal hematoma.

"Has everyone else been in to see you?"

CJ was wary of the question, "Just about. I was ecstatic to wake up to a CIA debriefing this morning."

The First Lady raised an eyebrow.

"They were concerned that I might have given up state secrets to either terrorists or a terrorist posing as a twenty something British agent."

"I see. Just another day for them, I guess. Leo's been filling in for you, by the way. Or should I just say he resumed his old job? In any case, all of us have been chasing him to make sure he doesn't overwork himself."

"He looked alright when he was here last night."

"Jed was here too." It was a statement and therein laid the First Lady's bait.

"Along with Donna, Josh and Toby, ma'am." CJ kept her tone steady and composed.

"You two exchanged words in private, I assume. He came back to the Residence looking like he'd just read Keynesian theory for the first time."

CJ looked confused so Abbey elaborated, "He looked like Christmas came early. What has he promised you? A life with him in Manchester? Kids? The white picket fence?"

Although Abbey began the visit with the intent to avoid the elephant in the room, she found herself deteriorating in the all encompassing desire to know just what transpired between CJ and her husband that would create such a rift between all of them.

"Ma'am! He's done no such thing! I hope you didn't come all the way up here just to point your finger in my face."

"He's already had all that and he's throwing it away for you."

"Abbey, stop it."

"I know my husband, CJ! And he's mine, as of this very second, he's still mine."

CJ looked at the woman she once called friend, knowing that Abbey was going for the jugular because she felt compelled to do so by her boundless pride. She felt weary all of a sudden, the two interrogations she endured were indescribably grating. Not to mention everything hurt still, her throat was starting to truly seize up from all the talking. How cruel was it to sling mud at someone who was physically incapable of saying anything back?

"I can't do this right now, Abbey, I literally can't." She was forced to whisper.

Abbey relented, her hands gripping the handles of her leather purse tightly.

"Think about what I said and make your decisions accordingly."

After the First Lady departed from Bethesda, CJ requested that all visits be postponed for the rest of the day unless it was Senior Staff members or the President who wanted to see her.

* * *

**Author's note:** It has been established that Abbey wants a divorce from Jed, but I think that she has a fiercely possessive streak in her that has been brought out by the vicious media coverage of Jed's supposed infidelity. That's why she wants to kick CJ while she's down. I like Abbey too, don't get me wrong, but I LOVE and adore CJ. I am therefore a strictly Jed/CJ shipper.

**Important:** The medical term "retropharyngeal hematoma" just means severe bruising/damage to the throat area caused by blunt force trauma. A diaphragmatic hernia is a hole created in the wall of the diaphragm by the fractured ribs rubbing against it. I am NOT a medical expert though, so there's a good chance I'm not using the terminology correctly, please bear with me for the sake of this fic.

**Teaser: **"Sir, I may have said something that wasn't entirely appropriate last night."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: **Thank you all for reviewing! Your feedback really inspires me and compels me to do better. I probably sound like a broken record at this point, haha. But seriously, I didn't think I'd get much feedback since there aren't too many who like Jed/CJ so I'm grateful for your open minds. Without further ado, here is the next chapter...

* * *

He wanted to be the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes. Jed wanted to make sure she didn't wake up in a blind panic and risk worsening her injuries again.

When he heard that Rollie sent a man in to debrief CJ, he gave him a call and thoroughly chastised him. Probably not the best decision since it was routine to debrief all personnel who'd recently undergone a traumatic experience. A debriefing would determine if classified information had been revealed through coercion and if the answer is yes it allows the CIA to take appropriate measures for damage control. Jed just didn't want the intimidating CIA director questioning CJ when she was most vulnerable and alone.

Jed watched her chest rise and fall. She still needed the oxygen tubes to ensure she was getting enough because her trachea was too swollen. She had been taken off the morphine drip. Her eye had returned to its normal size and the cut on her cheek closed up compared to her appearance in the video. Her bottom lip was healing nicely as well.

When she told him she loved him, he felt everything coming full circle. The burgeoning affection for her was something he never read too much into during the early years of his presidency. Now it was impossible to ignore that the affection had become something more than he was capable of describing. All of the things they'd experienced together in their working relationship seemed to only cement his personal feelings.

He knew how he felt about the woman before him and he knew how he felt about his wife, he could definitely distinguish between them. Abbey's love was a rope slipping out of his grasp, perhaps it always had been. Every reconciliation was a tug of the rope that he struggled to regain only to lose again later. It was only a matter of time before the rope was torn out of his grasp and beyond his reach.

"Jed?" She whispered, blinking slowly. The remnants of sleep lingered in the corners of her eyes, she turned away to yawn widely.

"Hi," He greeted her delicately.

"You can't be here every night, sir. You need sleep too. God, I sound like a freakin' drunken sailor." She cleared her throat at that.

"I took a nap today." He was hard pressed to stifle his mirth at her exasperated outburst.

"I'll believe that when I see it."

"Well, I plan to bother you for a while."

"It's been a tiring day. Every day is a tiring day actually. I'm tired of feeling tired."

"You can't exert yourself too much because of your ribs."

"Oh I forgot about those damn things. I guess I'll lay off the calisthenics for now," came the mildly derisive reply.

"There she is, my feisty girl."

The first real smile of the day brightened her face. Jed returned it and kissed the back of her hand.

"You can't keep doing that, sir." She referred to the gesture he seemed a bit fond of.

"Calling me 'sir' again, Claudia?"

She frowned but didn't remove her hand from his.

"I thought you knew that Abbey had been in to see me earlier. She warned me off you."

Jed's eyes darkened. He let go of her and leaned back into the chair. "She wants a divorce."

"What? That makes no sense."

"I don't think it's much of a secret among us that Abbey and I can't be in the same room for more than three minutes before we try to kill each other."

"Did you end up going to the opera?"

He blinked at the non sequitur.

"Nah…She cancelled it and we had some strong words that night. If you're hinting at something now is not the time for semantics, lady."

CJ tried not to take too much pleasure from the unusual endearment he had for her and stick to her principal train of thought.

"What I mean is that she was saying she still had you, and for all intents and purposes that's the truth, sir. All of our emotions are running on high. She was upset, you're…well, you're you."

"And you, CJ? What is this?"

What a loaded question.

"Sir, I may have said something that wasn't entirely appropriate last night."

He looked incredulous, his eyebrows raised.

"I can't—I won't take it back. And the verity behind what I said to you hasn't changed. The simple facts are that you're married to a formidable woman and you're the President of the United States. You're my boss, I can't even begin to emphasize the colossal conflict of interest…" CJ ran out of steam after finishing the list.

"In private, we agreed to a separation. After we leave office, she'll file papers and cite irreconcilable differences."

CJ took him in, wanting to trust him badly, to hand everything to him and trust him to fix it all. Alas, the pragmatist in her won out.

"Jed. You can't."

"Why?"

"You can't do this to your family. It just can't be done. Your grandchildren…You just can't."

"They'll forgive me."

"But they won't forgive _me_ if they read one day in a history book how CJ Cregg, the White House's resident home wrecker lured their grandfather astray in a haze of political intrigue! It would read like a bad Tudors novel. Could you imagine the bullshit they'll have to face, from friends, teachers, for the rest of their lives? I won't be the cause, Jed, I won't."

She'd gone into Press Secretary mode. It stung acutely because she was right. She was always right.

"Would you have been saying all this even if the First Lady hadn't come to see you?"

"I honestly don't know."

"Claudia—"

"I would take a bullet for you, sir. You have my unwavering devotion and I think I've proved it," Her hand swept over her hospital gown in one angry motion, "If you and Abbey are having problems, leave me out of it. I won't be dragged into this. Not this time."

Jed wasn't prepared to give in. He considered the fact that the both of them were running on instinct and perhaps not the most solid logic. But he could discern the truth solely from her eyes when she was brave enough to look at him fully and for that reason alone he wasn't prepared to simply let her go.

"I won't be President in a year. I won't be married shortly after that."

The implication resounded to her ears, the hidden meaning in his words would have made her so happy in other circumstances but instead it left her feeling ashamed and filthy. Her affair with Hoynes and its long lasting effects still haunted her. Jed wasn't a serial adulterer like the former Vice President had been but that hardly mattered when it was factored into the big picture.

CJ took a deep breath to ask, "Did the topic of divorce come up before or after my disappearance?"

"Before." He saw where she was going.

She thought that the only reason why Abbey wanted a divorce was because of his reaction to CJ's kidnapping. Jed wished he could somehow share a telepathic link with her so he could show her the trouble he and Abbey were in since the start of his re-election campaign. Unfortunately all he had were words and talk, which in her experience tended to lead nowhere.

"Are you still going to keep me as Chief of Staff?"

"Of course. During your recovery, Leo will handle your responsibilities."

"May I ask to work on small assignments from here?"

He nodded.

Both were quiet for a moment. In the distant background, they could hear sirens wailing.

"You may not be the right person to ask, sir, but I wanted to talk to Kate. Is she still in England?"

"Yeah. She's cleaning up the mess on that end. I'll make sure she calls."

"She stayed with me…She was there when the officers bundled me out, I think I saw her holding a gun. I think she shot somebody. I blacked out but I remember. I remember seeing her face before my surgery. When Josh was shot, he said he couldn't remember anything after Toby found him."

CJ let out a slow breath, her eyes downcast.

"You need to rest, Claudia."

She bit her lips nervously. "Yeah."

He rose to his feet unhurriedly, waiting for her to say anything to allow him to stay. No such request came. He stared at her, the leader of the free world utterly powerless to draw her gaze toward him.

"Good night, CJ."

"Good night, Mr. President."

* * *

**Teaser: **The lights were dimmed so he supposed she didn't see him until she was jolted awake, breathing hard with feral eyes.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: The end is nearing...but I plan to write a little sequel or someting, and I have a lot of other material that I'll work on polishing up to post one day. CJ/Jed is soooo addicting once you really commit to it, hahaha. Anyway, here is the next chapter. Please read and review! :)

* * *

Jerry Townley was going to be extradited by the United States to face a slew of charges, the worst of which was clearly first degree murder. Kate Harper escorted him back with Interpol agents to await trial in Washington DC. She predicted that he'd get life in prison but it wasn't like she was an unbiased observer. If it were her choice alone, it would be the death penalty.

There would also undoubtedly be inquiries by the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence and Congressional Hearings that might require CJ's testimony as well as the many other US citizens who were sold out to the Red Backs. She predicted Hogan's involvement would inspire a wave of reform within the American intelligence community to better monitor possible traitors in the disguise of state officials.

Once she got home, she checked her messages and found that Margaret left a bunch telling her to get in touch with CJ as soon as possible. Kate turned off the machine and went to run herself a hot bath, dialing the number Margaret left.

"Hello?"

"Hey CJ, it's Kate. How're you doing?"

There was silence on the other end of the line for a little bit before CJ spoke again.

" I'm…I'm getting better. And you? When did you arrive?"

"An hour ago. What should have been only a twenty minute drive turned into an ordeal, I thought traffic in London was bad but I must have forgotten how bad it can get here," Kate joked lightly while turning off the bath water.

"Yeah…But at least you're on the right side of the road again."

"Thank God I didn't have to drive at all."

Kate listened to CJ's hoarse laugh.

"Listen, Kate? I was wondering…with CIA debriefings, are they supposed to include a psychological evaluation of some kind? Because Rollie's already got a guy over here every morning with me and honestly I'm not comfortable being questioned when I can't even talk for more than half an hour. Are they providing the psych evaluation that might discourage the President from keeping me on staff?"

Kate frowned, letting her free hand run through the surface of the bath water.

"Their primary concern is to assess the amount of top secret information you might have revealed under duress. Next time, have someone sit in with you so they can show Rollie's crony the door when you've had enough."

"Okay. Frankly, I don't want anyone poking around in my head until I live through this a little longer."

"I understand. I'll come see you tomorrow morning. In fact, I'll make sure I'm there when Rollie's guy shows up."

"That would be around 9:30, I think."

"I'll see you tomorrow, CJ. Sleep well," Kate bade her goodnight and hung up, eager to soak in the tub and clear her racing mind. She knew Rollie wouldn't have waited any longer than twenty four hours to verify that CJ hadn't given anything away. She was just surprised that CJ was more concerned with the prospect of being let go from the White House than her own mental state. She definitely needed to see and talk to CJ as soon as possible to help her come to terms with what happened. She had more than her fair share of experience with overcoming trauma, if gone about the wrong way, anxiety attacks and recurring nightmares were only the beginning of the dilemma CJ would encounter.

* * *

"Wow, am I popular today or what?" CJ quipped flippantly. Toby and Kate were with her when Hammond rolled in with his briefcase in hand.

"Is this a bad time?" Hammond peered at his wrist watch, far more cordial than he'd been yesterday morning.

Toby stood and moved aggressively toward him.

"Look, skippy, I believe you've been ordered to wait until CJ resumes her post as Chief of Staff before you can go trampling through her memories. If I see you here again, I will personally toss you out on your ass. You've got what you needed, she didn't give any confidential information away. The rest can wait until she's better."

Hammond looked like Toby force fed him a dead rat but he nodded and turned right around.

"Nice job there, cowboy." Kate sent him a mischievous grin.

"My knight in shining armor." CJ added.

"Don't go telling people." He muttered dryly, taking his seat again.

The pair had been filling her in on Leo's impromptu pep talk about the 365 days that the Bartlet administration had to truly implement positive changes in society. CJ wistfully thought she should have been there.

"The doctors say they want to wait another two weeks before they let me walk around for real. The surgery done in England was to remove shards of bone from my diaphragm, my ribs may or may not reopen the wound if I'm moving around so for now…I'm stuck here. And I think I'm gonna go insane. Everyone who visits me, well most everyone who visits me is great company but when I'm alone with myself…"

Toby took her good hand reassuringly.

"I know you both have jobs and I don't want you worrying about me while you're running around town. But if you have time, please come by and bring board games."

"Which do you prefer?"

"All these years, Toby, and you still don't know that I prefer Scrabble over Monopoly."

He opened his mouth to defend himself when he was cut off by the ringing of his cell phone. Apologetically, Toby glanced from his phone to CJ until she urged him to answer it.

"Hello? Annabeth. Yeah I sent you the revisions. Ginger should have delivered them to your office if they haven't already gotten there—" He stood and moved away to give Kate and CJ space to talk.

"I gotta get back soon."

"Yeah I know. I'll be fine. Go on, Kate."

The blonde appeared reluctant to move until CJ further urged her. She stood up and put on her coat, remembering all of those times she herself was in a hospital bed waving away concerned friends.

"I'll call you when I can." Kate added, smiling a little.

CJ nodded, her eyes shifting to Toby after Kate's departure.

He'd hung up just as Kate left and by the look on his face it would soon be his time to go. Honestly he was glad that Kate went with him to see CJ because he didn't know what he could say that would make her feel well again. He could hardly process his own emotions about what happened.

"Sit down, you're making my neck ache."

"Sorry."

He sat heavily in the chair next to the bed and placed his hands on his knees. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and then steeled himself to really, _really_ look at her.

"I don't…I don't know what to say."

"Toby, I'm here. I'm alive. I'm a bit bruised, yes, but I'm alive and I'm not going anywhere. So don't stomp around the bullpen with an angry face and please don't take it out on Carol…I'm here." She knew she had to be strong for him.

She leaned forward and caressed his cheek with her good hand. A pang of astonishment shook her when she saw him desperately try to blink back tears. Toby never, ever cried in front of her in all the time she'd known him.

"They wouldn't tell me any more than I needed to know to do the briefings. Leo—you just knew he was shouldering the burden for everyone. CJ, I need to know what happened to you so I don't keep picturing…" Toby tossed his hand in the air in front of him, trusting her to understand what he meant.

She was powerless under his intense gaze. She felt the words travelling from her brain to her lips.

"I spent most of the time in my cell. It might have been a repurposed closet. They employed a lot of psychological manipulation to constantly brew an atmosphere of uneasiness. They wanted us to be on edge all the time." Her fingers played with the staid cloth of her blanket.

"They would take the girl next door to me into the next room in random intervals. I don't know what they wanted from her or what they did to her, but when they were done with her it would be me next. That became routine. You know, in a moment of insanity I spouted out some coordinates off the top of my head and Townley just ate it up, I mean—" CJ barked in laughter, "I basically told him we hid the uranium in the North Pole at Santa's workshop and between him and his _associates_, it took them the better part of two hours to figure it out!"

Toby in spite of himself burst into laughter at the image. They laughed until it wasn't funny, until they were reminded by the nearly suffocating tragedy of what CJ experienced.

"You should go. Carol can only hold the fort for so long."

He didn't say anything, just stared at her as long as he could manage without losing it again.

"I'll bring Scrabble and Monopoly tomorrow and you'll have the entire weekend to kick my ass in both games."

"Get outta here already!"

The door shut quietly and CJ was alone again.

* * *

"FUCKING HELL!"

There were no words to describe how unprepared Leo was when CJ woke up to find him sitting at her bedside. The lights were dimmed so he supposed she didn't see him until she was jolted awake, breathing hard with feral eyes.

"Claudia, it's just me." Leo held his palms up facing her to show he meant no harm. Inwardly he was dismayed that his presence caused her such visceral alarm. She stared at him for several seconds uncomprehendingly.

"Jesus, Leo…" CJ groaned. She tentatively felt her ribs, the area around the fractured ones was still extremely sore.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." He was standing up looking a tad pale. CJ realized what she must look like through his point of view and she cursed herself for reacting the way she did.

"No, no don't apologize. I'm running on soup and more sleep than I've gotten in the past decade, of course I'm twitchy. And every time I wake up I never know who's gonna be occupying that seat."

Leo relaxed imperceptibly and sat back down. He noticed the slight sheen of sweat on her forehead, how she was trying to force herself to be calm if such a thing were ever possible. He sought to alleviate her stress by drawing her attention to the gifts he brought.

"I brought some stuff that you can look over tonight and tomorrow."

"You mean you brought me work to do?" Her tone was utterly grateful.

"As a matter of fact, I did my dear."

She accepted the three inch binder he handed her as a grin plastered itself across her face. The fear buried itself deep where it remained during her waking hours and CJ was newly determined to keep it there.

"I made a copy of the EPA's budget that needs to be signed by the President and I included a copy of the draft of the Western Water Program. Also, there's an issue with the Energy Trust Fund Summary, it lost its momentum when Josh left but I've been working on it."

"I keep forgetting he's not with us anymore." CJ mused softly. "Anyway, was that it?"

"You're supposed to be resting, woman."

"Says the man who had a heart attack."

He made a silly face at her, eliciting a rare giggle from CJ.

"This is really just a whole lot of reading material. Do you want me to take notes or something? The President's gonna look this over, weigh in and send it off to Congress. It doesn't seem like my input's gonna count for much."

"Okay then give it back."

She clutched the binder to her chest protectively. Leo smirked.

"I thought so."

"I made Toby promise to bring board games to play next time he visits."

"Scrabble?"

"And Monopoly."

"I'll be sure to remind Jed to bring his chess set."

"Is…Is he planning on visiting again?"

Leo immediately caught the undertone of nervousness in her voice.

"If he has time on Sunday. Most likely he'll visit after he goes to mass with Abbey."

She averted her eyes and trained her gaze on the front page of the EPA budget binder. When a significant amount of time passed Leo knew something was up.

"Are you in love with him?"

She couldn't look at him because of the disapproval that would surely be shown in his expression. Leo sighed, wishing he had the kind of presence that encouraged her to confide in him instead of withdraw.

"Yes."

If the room hadn't been otherwise silent, Leo would have missed her answer.

"He hasn't been himself since you were taken."

"How so?" She wished she could have timed her response a little better so it didn't sound so eager. She really was quite curious, hearing it from Leo would provide unique insight to the President's-_Jed's- _reaction.

"When you were…gone… It wasn't like Zoey. It was like he shut down the extraneous components of himself so he could do what he had to in order to show he could still govern despite your disappearance and his illness."

"He didn't have an episode, did he?"

"No. But he looked more drained than I'd ever seen him before."

CJ met his eyes slowly, processing the information.

"When we got the news that you were alive, I thought he might collapse. He, Abbey and I were in the Residence watching CNN."

"Do you think less of me because I'm in love with him?"

"Of course not, CJ."

"Abbey came to see me and basically told me that I can't have him. I've never…I never set out to get between them."

"I assume you know that they're getting a divorce?"

"Yeah, he told me. But I don't think it'll happen."

"Abbey's not happy. She wants to teach again once we leave office. She wants a life that doesn't involve her playing the part of first lady."

"You know as well as I do that they might work through it. They always do, they did through Rosslyn, through the entire MS crisis. They're not gonna end a thirty year marriage and alienate their children and grandchildren just so Jed can have the thrill of putting a ring on my finger."

Leo looked vaguely surprised.

"Did he talk to you about it already?"

She nodded in response.

"He asked you to marry him?"

"Not in so many words. My answer was no, of course. I would never want him to take any more of a fall for me than he already has. I'd be damned before he takes the fall for a sex scandal a la John Hoynes. Now, do you mind if I start reading?"

Leo smiled at her desire to change the topic and indulged her. They stayed up late debating current environmental policy, occasionally butting heads but mainly glad to be engaged in an activity that soothed their nostalgia for the early years of the Bartlet administration.

* * *

**Teaser:** CJ unlocked and opened the door, her appearance drew a gasp from her assistant.

"I'm ready," She said though perhaps not directly speaking to Margaret.


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's note:** Hi all! Sorry about the wait but I've been tweaking things and fidgeting...And I have exams and a paper due by the end of this week. However, this chapter is a little longer than usual so hopefully it will tide you over until the next! :) This chapter resumes with the episode "Drought Conditions." Dialogue/plot is taken directly from this episode.

* * *

"Margaret, where did my blue binder with the EPA-Oh! OH GOD!" CJ had been frantically searching for the binder Leo gave her and had turned around to run face first into her assistant. The mug full of coffee that was in her hand was knocked back against her chest, spilling the dark liquid all over the front of her white blouse.

Margaret was freaking out about the dearth of spare clothing in the tiny closet in her office, holding up shirts to choose from. All of them had a stain from food or alcohol she'd consumed in previous weeks. It really was true that one's best clothes were inevitable stain magnets.

"You're supposed to tell me when you're out so I can go to the dry cleaners!" Margaret admonished CJ while trying to manually dry the front of her boss's blouse.

"You're my assistant, not my wife." Remarked CJ wryly.

"It'll be much less noticeable when it's dry."

Margaret flapped the front of the blouse around a bit more and resigned to telling CJ to hold up the binder over her chest. CJ sighed and ran a hand through her hair, the prospect of going into the first big meeting of the day with a stained blouse putting a significant damper on her mood.

People walked on eggshells around her. She appreciated that nobody got in her face about anything but it was nine am and the lack of conflict on all sides was indescribably disconcerting. She chose not to complain since she figured everything would return to normal once they readjusted.

The meeting in the Oval was low key. They discussed the Western Water Program at first then segued into the DNC gala scheduled for that evening. It was Annabeth's first meeting that she was asked to sit in at the Oval and she spoke to the President with admirable poise.

Sooner or later, CJ managed to forget the blouse situation and allowed her arms to relax, bringing the binder down to her lap. However, CJ didn't particularly enjoy having a rubber band flung at her chest in the exact spot where she'd been repeatedly injected with adrenaline. While she appreciated Annabeth's blatantly helpful reminder about her ruined blouse, she felt a little worked up as memories of the needle being stuck into her chest surfaced.

She quickly replaced the binder to covering the offending stain and tried to play it off like no one noticed her sudden yelp.

"All Democratic contenders will be in town for this event, sir, and they're all gonna want a piece of you." Annabeth continued, her words directed at the President.

"So if I see one coming, I'm supposed to what-duck under a table?"

"Over the top sir, but we're in the right area."

"I'm not avoiding my former Deputy Chief of Staff."

"He's gonna ask for a favor and you're gonna feel bad, sir."

He surreptitiously noticed CJ fiddling with something behind her binder, a scowl etched into her features. He turned back to Annabeth and waved a hand dismissively.

"No favors, just small talk. Could you give me that, CJ?" Jed pointed to his cane that was leaning against the Resolute desk. She stood, binder still clutched tightly to her chest and moved to get the cane.

"The President goes through this, it's a time honored annoyance but let's just navigate this as gracefully as possible." CJ asserted in a deprecating tone.

The President thanked everyone and dismissed them except for CJ, Toby and Leo. When the four of them were left in the Oval, Jed turned all of his attention to CJ.

"What was that show with the rubber band and why are you holding onto that binder for dear life?"

"I didn't think you saw that, sir. I uh, spilled some coffee on myself earlier and I don't have any spare shirts, the binder was the only solution I could think of." She explained in measured tones.

Jed looked at her carefully. It was her first day back and he still wanted to keep a close watch on her.

"How are you doing, Claudia?"

"Good. I'm glad to be back." Her walls were up, eyes guarded.

Jed nodded, "Okay."

"Thank you, Mr. President." She bowed out of the Oval and went into her adjoining office, closing the door behind her. She tried not to feel Leo's and Toby's eyes boring into her as she'd walked out.

* * *

"Margaret!"

The other door was flung open and in came her trusty assistant.

"Can you pick something up for me to wear to the gala tonight from my house? Something that covers my neck and arms, for that matter make sure the skirt is long enough to cover my legs."

"So basically, your face and hands should be the only visible parts of your body?"

CJ shot her a withering look. Margaret pursed her lips and went to complete her task. She understood CJ's insecurity but this was a little extreme considering the woman loved to show off her toned physique when the occasion called for it. Nevertheless, she resolved to follow her boss' orders.

With that, the newly reinstated Chief of Staff delved into the paperwork left for her on the desk, beginning with a memo regarding a diplomatic mission to Mali.

The beauty of her job was that once she engaged in her duties, time flew by without her having to be constantly reminded of things she'd rather not think of. She regained her energy and rediscovered her equilibrium faster than she thought was possible. She ran into Miles Hutchinson as well as a few others from Defense on the way from the Roosevelt Room to the bullpen. The surly man did an almost comical double take and went out of his way to greet her. Yes it was a bit awkward but she was pleased that the patronizing smirk he wore during their past interactions no longer graced his face.

She sat in on a meeting with a panel of senior Foreign policy officials from the Brookings Institute and the President in the Oval. The topic of the day was opening up a discussion on possible areas in the Defense budget they could cut in order to reduce the deficit that was creeping on them. Among the several different opinions, CJ wasn't able to offer her two cents but Jed was in his element. Two of the panelists were fiscal advisors and saw eye to eye with the President on everything except sending more troops to Qumar.

This meeting ended mid-afternoon. CJ went back to her office to examine the outfit Margaret selected, slightly wary of the other woman's taste since she was forced to sashay around the West Wing in Margaret's colorful tweed coat with a fringe lining so she could hide the coffee stain extravaganza on her blouse.

To her absurdly deep relief, the other woman chose a black Donna Karan shift dress and some red kitten heels. The dress had a sweetheart neckline, fell to her knees and had three fourths length sleeves. CJ shut her closet door decisively and sat behind her desk to tackle more work. She tried not to think about how the evening's festivities might play out. Undoubtedly she'd have to deal with well wishers, old friends and perhaps future nemeses that were currently labeled as friends. There was nothing quite like a near death experience that brought people out of the woodwork.

When it was time to get dressed, CJ locked both doors of her office and stripped down to her undergarments in a clinical manner. It was only when she allowed herself to look that she was repulsed by her own skin. Hurriedly she tossed her work clothes aside and began to get ready.

She slipped into the body conscious dress and pulled the zipper up herself. Her hair wasn't much of a challenge. The final touch was simply a darkening of her makeup and the addition of a slim gold chain pendant around her neck. The woman stared at her reflection in her compact mirror, detached yet slightly nauseated.

She stared until she was torn from her reverie by three knocks on the door from Margaret's side.

"CJ? Is the dress alright?"

CJ unlocked and opened the door, her appearance drew an impressed gasp from her assistant.

"I'm ready," She said though perhaps not directly speaking to Margaret.

* * *

The DNC gala was always a ritzy affair. Warm lighting, a live jazz band and a flowing supply of champagne kept the atmosphere at a low sort of simmer. Toby was shuffling around, glaring every so often in the direction of Josh Lyman who was schmoozing with all sorts of people who looked like potential Santos supporters. CJ felt more than a little discombobulated at witnessing the rest of Washington in campaign mode because for the first time in eight years, she wasn't running around in the thick of it.

Kate even gussied up and inadvertently drew Will Bailey's eye to her as they stood awkwardly in each other's company so she could avoid running into her ex husband from State. CJ worked the room as she seemed born to do, brushing off remarks of concern from her acquaintances and fending off intrusive questions from the people she didn't know well. She didn't give herself any reprieve until she found herself beside the President.

"Half an hour more sir and you're done." She blurted out a bit gracelessly. Now she was wishing she hadn't imbibed in quite as much bubbly as she had. Her fingertips were tingling slightly.

"Really? That's all the time that my presence is required?"

"Well you're certainly leaving before the speeches."

"In deference to my health? Now there's an excuse we should've started using years ago."

CJ smirked down at him fondly. His eyes were probing however and if she let her guard down, she feared he'd see through the blithe façade she painstakingly built. Annabeth appeared to his right and laid her tiny hand on his arm to get his attention. CJ tried not to react as she stared at the point of contact between the other woman and the President. It was a completely platonic gesture yet it ratcheted up her irritation.

"I found a few people on the guest list who aren't connected to any campaigns, you should really focus your attention on them." Said Annabeth, without removing her hand from the President's arm.

CJ pointedly asked, "You made a list?"

"I'll point them out, there are six."

"I hope you're on that list." Jed said playfully.

Annabeth blushed and smiled widely. Her employment was clearly shaping up to be a good decision and for that CJ supposed she should be grateful that Toby and Donna were able to find someone who wasn't a walking disaster to do her old job. CJ really couldn't explain the sudden feeling of animosity that had flared up within her. She dismissed herself from the President's company and resolved to once again patrol the room.

She approached Toby, who looked on the outside exactly how she felt on the inside. She noticed his line of sight directly intersecting the area in which Josh and presidential candidate Matt Santos were staging a photo op.

"Can this be one of those nights where we get sloshed and forget we work together?"

"Wow, that would be lovely." He dropped the glower for a moment and looked at her. "How're you feeling?"

"Fine. I could use another drink though."

"Wanna come down to the bar with me for a bit?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

And just like that, Toby Ziegler and CJ Cregg disappeared to the bar where they would both entertain the pros and cons of her earlier proposal. Just as she exited the ballroom, she half turned to do a sweeping once over of the place. She almost immediately spotted Jed Bartlet with Annabeth and Cliff Calley. She supposed Annabeth was handling an introduction.

Jed caught CJ's eyes through the rest of the crowd. They observed each other as almost everything else seemed to go still. She supposed she was a bit angry that Annabeth enjoyed such an easy camaraderie with him despite the short time spent in the West Wing, she was also pissed that Annabeth had the initiative to hire Cliff with hardly any input from the Chief of Staff. Obviously the President approved though he hadn't yet asked her what she thought of Cliff's involvement in the Western Water program negotiations.

She wondered how her stress level might have been if Abbey had attended the function too.

CJ held his gaze for a second longer before she abruptly broke it. Toby was waiting just a few feet ahead of her, expectantly holding an outstretched hand for her to take. Jed watched her turn and resume her walk away from the glittering ballroom.

* * *

A couple—or maybe a lot—of glasses of merlot later, CJ was full blown laughing at something that might have made sense had her head not been spinning. Toby had stopped his own chortling eventually when he remembered the reason for the ache in his chest that wouldn't go away. He hadn't told CJ outright what happened to his brother David. He didn't want to load more onto the pile of stuff for her to fret over but the alcohol was making it more and more difficult for him to keep that can of worms closed.

"Toby, are we getting shitfaced at the bar of a White House gala?"

"CJ, I think we ARE shitfaced at a White House gala."

She laughed again before finishing the last mouthful of wine in her glass.

"Ohhh. Maybe not such a good idea." She fingered her ribs through the bodice of her dress.

It suddenly occurred to Toby that she was still on a dosage of Vicodin. She must have forgotten about it but he knew she took one maybe less than two hours ago. He cursed internally at his carelessness.

"Toby, you can't use that kind of language here!"

Apparently, he cursed himself aloud but that didn't deter him from trying to pry the empty wine glass out of her hands. The bartender watched the forlorn if not slightly amusing pair before him. Toby warned him not to refill CJ's glass despite her requests, much to her displeasure.

"I feel so good right now..."

"I don't doubt it. Let's get outta here."

He discreetly assisted her as they left the bar and slowly made their way to the West Wing and the relative safety of her office. He thought it was a good idea for the both of them to let the haze clear before returning to the party or even attempting the journey home, especially since CJ was kite as a high. Sky as a high? No—high as a kite. He wanted to congratulate himself on his plan. If only his legs didn't turn into jelly as he took her down with him to fall haplessly onto her sofa.

"Why do you like Annabeth?"

The query seemingly came out of nowhere. Toby frowned at her.

"Who says I like her?"

CJ rolled her eyes.

"I can tell when you dislike someone slightly less than you do everyone else."

"She says that I'm watchable." He admitted somewhat bashfully.

Her face darkened noticeably and she clammed up. Her arms crossed in front of her chest. Toby was genuinely puzzled.

"You're not threatened by her, are you?"

She maintained the doleful expression and kept her arms crossed when he realized even in his intoxicated state why she was cranky.

"Ceej, it would take four of her to equal you. Literally."

"I don't know if that was shupposed to be a compliment. Should I shmack you?"

He noticed the slur in her speech but refrained from laughing.

"She's skilled. She knows what she's doing and she's helped me not want to personally dismember all the reporters I've had to face." Toby's eyes softened at the corners, "She helped me with _your_ press conference."

"Well, that's just shwell. No wonder she's been so nice to me. I'm just another fucking victim."

"Jesus, CJ where is this all coming from?"

"It's my first day back. I want to show the world that I can function and what happens? I shpill coffee on myself while trying to locate a misplaced binder, I have nothing useful to offer during the afternoon meetings because I've shpent all day playing catch up, I have to deal with Cliff-I-want-my-M-and-M's-Calley on a Water Program negotiation that's going nowhere…" She paused to hiccup.

"Annabeth successfully put forward a staffing recommendation without my approval and I'm here, drunk off my ass AND high on painkillers to top it all off." CJ hiccupped again. "Claudia Jean Cregg-hot mess and incompetent nincompoop to resume job at the White House." She waved her hand like she was indicating the headline on tomorrow's front page paper. Her eyes were glassy with tears. For a nearly six foot tall woman, she'd never looked smaller.

At the end of her tirade, she looked down at her knees and hiccupped. Toby put an arm around her shoulders comfortingly. Years of friendship had made them comfortable enough in each other's presence for her to swing her legs up and drape them over his lap. He held her as snugly as was appropriate. Her eyelids were drooping.

Just before she fell asleep, he whispered, "It'll get better. It always does."

* * *

**Teaser: **She left him standing beside the Resolute desk. She was too scared to glimpse into the future and he respected her too much to chase after her.


End file.
